


[glory]

by mirkwood131



Series: EXO Central [35]
Category: EXO (Band), GOT7, Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Blow Jobs, First Time, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Smoking, Sweet Park Chanyeol, Underage Sex, baekhyun is a bad boy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 16:53:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15562221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirkwood131/pseuds/mirkwood131
Summary: HIGHSCHOOL!AU: Baekhyun is the school's bad boy, notorious for both his pretty face and for his unorthodox ways. Chanyeol, a music nerd, just so happens to like bad boys. Or he thinks so, until their paths cross quite literally.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this all started from a prompt found on tumblr, but then, because what i was writing wasn't really matching with it, i've changed quite a bit.  
> this will have around 3 chapters, give or take, depends on how the story progresses.  
> song recom: [ bastille-quarter past midnight ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mv8I7IqLYR4)  
> anyways, hope you'll enjoy this:)

Chanyeol couldn’t tell you how he ended up in this situation. Situation might be an overestimation. In fact, there is none. There’s only a locked door that wasn’t like that 10 minutes ago.

A surprisingly funny smell is coming from somewhere. Or is that his armpits? He may never know.

What he knows is that the only light is the one coming from the small window in the door. Light might also be an overestimation. Because that is just a sad excuse of one; wobbly, thin, malnourished.

“Help!!” he yells, knocking as hard as he can.

His fists starts pounding soon enough because, truth be told, his thin and long fingers aren’t meant for hitting things. But, in his own wise words, for holding things. We both know what you might be thinking about right now. But scratch that thought. Pencils and pens it’s what it was meant.

“Help!!” he yells again.

Another funny, even peculiar thing though, is that usually, the hallways are crowded with people. At whatever hour. But not this time.

Certainly, you might wonder: What is he doing, locked in some weird room in a high school?

Well, good question. But we’ll cover that later too. Not now, of course, because we have better things to chat about. Like Byun Baekhyun.

Byun Baekhyun, 18 years old. About 5'8", maybe even taller, depending on the shoes. Big mouth, small eyes, even smaller amount of shame. A bad boy. That’s maybe what you’d call him. Maybe even a Casanova or a Don Juan.

There are many names for it. But it so just happens that while Chanyeol is desperately knocking at the door, Byun Baekhyun is turning left on the hallway, then right and afterwards, he’s right in front of the door.

“Help!!”

Baekhyun shifts on his 200$ (stolen) shoes and stares at the door. Chanyeol stops, fist mid-air. It’s silent and then, Baekhyun twists the knob and light shines inside.

This light likes to go to gym, has a whole year membership and eats protein shakes for breakfast. It almost blinds him. Another overestimation, truth be told.

“What the fuck are you doing in here?!” Byun Baekhyun asks, squinting to see Chanyeol’s face.

One face that has turned one red color. Of course he knows who Byun Baekhyun is. But more importantly, Chanyeol likes bad boys. Even though he isn’t one himself. Far from it even. 10.000 miles away from it, trapped in a maze of embarrassment and introversion. Like in the Maze Runner. Well, almost.

“Someone…someone trapped me inside.” he says after a while.

And now, now we can talk about how Chanyeol got into that situation.

“Who?!”

“Uhm…” Chanyeol whispers.

In fact, he knows who did it. The whole school knows it. Chanyeol is certain that Byun Baekhyun should know it too because how on earth can he not?

“Sehun…and Jongin…”

The words are almost a whisper. Chanyeol doesn’t like to talk to strangers or to people he hasn’t ever talked to. His voice becomes squeaky; thin, small. In general, his voice is deep. Surprisingly so.

“Oh.” Byun Baekhyun says.

His lips are pretty too. But he wasn’t supposed to think that, was he?

“Well, now you can get out. What’s your name?” he asks.

“Cha-Chanyeol.” he mumbles.

Has luck just puked all over him or what?!

“Chanyeol. Come on. I’m hungry.” Byun Baekhyun says and starts walking.

Chanyeol stares at his back, unsure. Is he really talking to him?! Well, he must. So, the chasing begins. For a person as short as Byun Baekhyun, his pace is rather speedy. Chanyeol simply follows him mindlessly until they enter the cafeteria and the other suddenly stops.

“I’m Baekhyun. By the way.” he says.

“I know.”

“Oh.”

“You said that you-”

“Right. Hungry.” Baekhyun smiles and rushes towards a pile of sandwiches.

He takes one, then a Cola and after a quick inspection in what concerns the lady at the counter, shoves them underneath his green hoodie.

“Do you want some?”

But Chanyeol doesn’t have many words left in his mouth or brain. He only shakes his head.

“Come on. It’s free.” he says as he whispers the last words.

“I’m good.” he whispers too as that appears to be the only logical thing to say.

“Pity.” Byun Baekhyun shrugs.

 

[]~[]

 

Chanyeol is 16. Baekhyun has just turned 19. That’s what he has found in the second week of their newfound friendship.

But that is not the point. Point being that Baekhyun is clingy; irritating; a kleptomaniac; easily annoyable and even easier to befriend; has too many friends and even more hookups; likes to stir up fights with people older than him.

The second point being made is that Chanyeol might actually have a thing for all of that. Maybe for the way he grabs his arm without thinking much, rubbing his slender fingers all over them until he shivers. Or for his smile. And laugh; and everything in between that he actually doesn’t like as much but tolerates.

He might just admit it that Baekhyun is a bad boy of his own kind.

 

[]~[]

 

“I think…what I think is that you study too much. But I like the guitar and piano part. That’s fancy.” Baekhyun says.

He’s sitting on his bed, playing with a rather small Iron-Man figurine.

“Do you?” Chanyeol asks with a dumb smile on his face.

“Of course.”

Baekhyun throws the toy in the air and then catches it in the fist. He weights it for a while, studying it on each side. The light coming from outside is having a fever. Orange-red and too warm, landing exactly on his face, making him look sunburnt.

Chanyeol thinks that it is a good look on him.

“Play something.” Baekhyun says.

“I’m not that-”

“I don’t want to hear excuses.”

He stands up in a quick motion and walks over to where Chanyeol is sitting. His body emanates so much heat that his cheeks rapidly turn red from overheating; there’s not enough space between them. Yeah, that’s what he considers.

“I’m leaving in 15 minutes.” Baekhyun says, glancing at his watch.

At the same time, he swiftly places the figurine in the pocket of his jeans.

“So. Sing me something.”

“I…” Chanyeol mumbles.

He truly, utterly, badly wants and needs to impress him. But his mind goes blank. It screeches and stops. Like a sad little gate that needs oil but it’s only left in the wind, to keep on screeching.

“Anything, for fuck’s sake!!” Baekhyun shouts, throwing his arms in the air. “I’m out of here.”

“Wait!” Chanyeol yells.

Suddenly, his gate doesn’t need any more oil. It’s drowning in it.

“Too late. If you want to be a pussy, then be a pussy. I won’t stop you.” Baekhyun says.

“I know what to sing.”

“I said too late. I’m bored and this…bores me even more.”

Baekhyun yawns, walking towards the door, without looking back.

“I…” Chanyeol mumbles again.

The words are lost once again. But this time, in a puddle of oil.

“I’m goin’!” Baekhyun says.

“Where?”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. He smirks. Chanyeol’s heart falls from his chest at an alarming rate until it hits his own puddle of oil.

“To get laid.” he laughs.

The heart twitches in the puddle, splashing oil all over his face.

“Oh…”

“You should do that sometimes too.”

He unintentionally tastes some of the oil. It’s bitter.

 

[]~[]

 

Sometimes, Chanyeol thinks that he despises ever meeting Baekhyun. Or Baekhyun. Mostly, everything related to Baekhyun. Even repeating his name. He has stuck to him; and his friends too.

Chanyeol cannot even forget about his friends, those damn friends. Or that damned friend; one that since day one of meeting has stuck even worse to him than anyone else.

“You. Are. Late.”

“2 minutes.” Chanyeol sighs.

This happens after his whole guitar singing fiasco. It seems like Baekhyun has forgotten about everything in less than 24hrs. Chanyeol hasn’t.

“It counts. Anyways.”

“Okay.”

Chanyeol sighs again. This time, they are both alone at the table, without Baekhyun or his usual hoard of ass kissers and noise makers that surround him like some annoying flies. Just the two of them. Chanyeol has figured that Jongdae feels alone. And that’s why he seeks his company. He would almost call everything borderline gay but he also knows it isn’t. Jongdae likes pussy. Too much even.

“So. I was thinking.” Jongdae says.

“Okay…” Chanyeol whispers again while he plays with some unappealing potatoes.

“I’m 18 right?”

“Right.”

“I’m like…best friends with Baekhyun, right?”

Chanyeol nods.

“He gets a looot of pussy.”

“Would you stop saying…pussy?” Chanyeol whispers the last word, looking around to check if any teacher had heard him.

“PUSSY!!” Jongdae yells and Chanyeol spills the potatoes from his mouth to his pants.

“Crap!”

“But I get none.”

“What a surprise.” Chanyeol sighs.

“But really? Don’t you sometimes just want to have sex?” Jongdae asks.

Chanyeol can only think about the slightly darker mustard stain on his mustard pants. It looks like a tree. No. Like some eggs. No. Like a damn penis!!

“I don’t know…” Chanyeol sighs again.

And the oil might not even come out in the washer.

“You must. You’re like…in full puberty. Hit you like a tornado!“ Jongdae continues. "Don’t you think about getting your trumpet into a hole?”

“You can yell…that word but not say penis?” Chanyeol huffs.

“Fine. Penis. Don’t you want your penis tickled?”

“By who?”

“Baekhyun!!” Jongdae shouts as the other boy’s hands land on his shoulder like miniature bear paws.“

Baekhyun looks from one to another with a big grin on his face. This moment, Chanyeol’s stomach does a tumble. No. Two tumbles.

"I have the greatest idea in existence.” he says. “And if you think about saying ‘no’, no.”

“I wasn’t going to…” Chanyeol whispers.

“We…” he says and then, he brings all of them closer to the middle of the table, in a small circle of heads. “-are going to rob…a bank.” Baekhyun continues in a whisper.

Chanyeol’s brain falls in the same puddle of oil, right next to his heart.

“Are you out of your damn mind?” Jongdae whispers. “That means…jail.”

“Not if done right.” Baekhyun grins. “And I might know a thing or two about shit like that.”

“I’m still not doing it.” Jongdae says.

He stands up and breaks their small circle. Truthfully, in the month he has known them, Jongdae never said 'no’ to anything Baekhyun was proposing. Until now.

“Chanyeol. You better not listen to this nut job on this one. I mean it.” Jongdae says.

Baekhyun glances at Chanyeol this time; his eyes are two small crescent, gazing at him up and down.

“You…are all mine and you do whatever I tell you to do.” Baekhyun says.

His hand comes to rest on the small of his back, going upper and upper to his nape. He squeezes his flesh and Chanyeol shivers again as his stomach does the third tumble of the day.

 

[]~[]

 

The room is too noisy for his liking. Everything is loud; from all those people to the music, to the faint sound of sirens in the distance. Chanyeol can smell something burning. Like a wet cloth thrown in a fire.

His heart twitches in the puddle. There’s no sign of Baekhyun.

All the windows are fogged up and next to him two are making out. His fingers are sticking to the leather of the couch in a way that makes his stomach churn because no matter how disgusted he feels, he cannot take his fingers off the couch and look at them.

And then there’s the robbery too. Since Jongdae has backed out, there’s only him. Him and Baekhyun who have been friends with for barely 5 weeks.

“I’m Huuuuulk!!!” someone yells at the base of the stairs.

Chanyeol glances in that direction to see Baekhyun; his grey shirt is ripped in odd places and the khaki pants as well. Hair disheveled, in a strange shade of red, going down on his neck in a mullet.

“Chanyeollie!!” Baekhyun yells.

Chanyeol sinks deeper into the couch. His fingers turn sweaty now, slipping on the leather.

“I’m drunk.” Baekhyun says and falls heavily onto his lap.

“I can…tell.” Chanyeol whispers.

Nonetheless, he thinks that he looks beautiful. A different kind of beauty, a strange one, only there for him to relish in it.

“I am soooo…so horny.” Baekhyun whispers, coming closer and closer to his ear until all his stray hairs tickle his face and the breath is unbearably warm on the skin.

It smells bad, like stale beer and god knows what.

“Don’t you…” Chanyeol gulps down the knot in his throat. “Don’t you have someone to…have…sex with?”

“Maybe…” Baekhyun whispers.

He then creates some space between their bodies, eying the other up and down. Up and down until he settles right on his lips.

“I think…that…” Baekhyun whispers, leaning lower and lower until that warm breathe is ghosting over his face.

“Byun!!” someone yells and Baekhyun turns around, still sitting on his lap.

“Jacksooon!!” he yells back, jumping to his feet and running towards the other.

Chanyeol watches him stride over to the door; he wraps an arm around the one called Jackson and whispers something into his ear.

His heart jumps in the puddle and Chanyeol tries to catch it with both hands, but it slips from between his fingers, hitting the floor. He watches it getting covered in oil and dirt.

 

[]~[]

 

Baekhyun has his little way of making him feel better. Sometimes, Chanyeol judges that it’s only in his head. Damn imagination! But other times, even Jongdae notices it or thinks that he does. It’s all hidden in the little gestures; when he hugs him from behind, placing his head on his shoulder, even though Chanyeol is much taller; the way he makes fun of everyone at a table but not him. Usually, his heart beats faster when it comes to this signs of affection. It almost swells and pops like a balloon filled with red water. Bursts right in his face and he cannot see clear for the rest of the day.

But nobody notices and he is glad.

 

“My parents are home.” Chanyeol says as he opens the door.

Baekhyun and Jongdae are right behind him. Staring.

“So what?” Baekhyun asks.

“Mom! I came with some school friends.” he yells but there comes no response.

He shrugs and throws his shoes to the side.

“I was right in the bathroom.” his mother says, walking down the hallway. “Hello, boys.” she smiles, looking from one to another.

“We’re going to my room.” Chanyeol says.

“Sure. Did you eat? I could make some sandw-”

“We are fine.” he says.

“Nice walls.” Baekhyun grins, following him as he ogles everything like the first time he stepped inside the place.

“I didn’t know that you are rich.” Jondae says.

“I’m not.”

“Sure you are. Have you seen the furniture and how big this apartment is?”

“The furniture was my grandparents’.” Chanyeol says. “We are not…rich.”

“That’s what all the riches like us peasants to think. That they aren’t rich. Enough.” Jongdae says throwing himself on the bed.

Chanyeop slowly closes the door as Baekhyun sits on the armchair in the shape of a green hand.

He pulls a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and a lighter from another; the small, blue box is thrown in the air before Baekhyun catches it between his fingers, studying it with an expert squint. His tongue is right at the corner of his lips, small and pink.

“What are you doing?” Chanyeol asks.

He moves closer to the center of the room.

“Relax. Just open the window.” Baekhyun says.

With slow, calculated movements, he opens the pack and even slower, takes a cigarette out of it. He weights it in his hand.

“My mom will kill me if you-”

“I told you to open the window!” Baekhyun almost yells.

Chanyeol strides towards it and pushes the knob. The wind hits him in the face as his cheeks start burning.

“Give me one too!” Jongdae says; Baekhyun throws one in his direction, but it falls on the floor, right at Chanyeol’s feet.

“Come on. It won’t bite. I can.” Baekhyun laughs.

He does take it and a bead of sweat falls from his forehead, right on the carpet. It’s weightless in his hand.

“Don’t get upseeeet.” Baekhyun says, dragging out the words.

Chanyeol looks at him and his heart splashes the oil all over his face. The cigarette is sitting right between his lips, towards the corner of his mouth as he keeps toying with the lighter. Baekhyun throws another one at Jongdae. This time, he catches it.

“Have you ever-ever smoked?” Baekhyun asks.

Chanyeol shakes his head.

“You haven’t?” he laughs and finally lights the cigarette.

The flame is happy and bright until it dies and turns the white paper black and crumbly.

“Well, now you will.” Baekhyun smiles.

Chanyeol’s fingers sweat, tremble around the smooth paper. He glances back at Jongdae, but this time, his attention is somewhere else.

“Come on. I’m here.” Baekhyun says, blowing out smoke that hits him right in the face.

Chanyeol puts the cigarette right between his lips and waits.

“Is that a guitar?” Jongdae asks but Chanyeol’s ears feel stuffed with cotton.

Still smiling, Baekhyun climbs down from the chair, on the floor; Chanyeol kneels on the carpet, focusing all his attention on Baekhyun’s lips. Another cloud of smoke blurs his vision, makes him cough.

“Here.” Baekhyun whispers.

The fire licks at the edges of the cigarette and then it dies. Chanyeol breathes in and chokes.

“He did it?” Jongdae yells, jumping next to him.

“Yeah!” Baekhyun nods, half laughing as Chanyeol drops the cigarette on the carpet.

The small, black end eats away at the fabric, slowly, as he keeps on coughing, until it creates a circular, black hole that stares back at him.

“Damn it!” he croaks. “The…” he mumbles, brushing away the cigarette.

But the hole is still there.

“Oh my god!!” Jongdae bursts into laughter.

“You good?” Baekhyun asks, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I’ve ruined the carpet…” he whispers.

The hole keeps staring at him so he covers it with a pillow that he grabs from the bed. Jongdae keeps laughing, too close to his ear; it’s screeching and irritating and his eyebrow twitches.

“Get out!!” Chanyeol yells. “Get the fuck out!!!”

“You heard him.” Jongdae laughs.

But Baekhyun doesn’t leave.

The door closes with a thud and Chanyeol finally breathes out. And then, he sees the other, still standing in front of him.

“Well…it’s just a carpet.” Baekhyun says.

“I’ve told you to get out.”

“And who would actually listen to a puppy like you?” he asks, looking up at his face. “No one.”

“Ha-ha.”

“I’ll tell her that it’s my fault not yours so I’ll get aaaaall the beating.”

“Mom won’t beat you.”

Chanyeol laughs.

“I was exaggerating.” Baekhyun says. “The two of us can be the new Bonnie and Clyde.”

“Huh?”

“Rob a bank, get filthy rich.” he grins. “Leave on the road, buy everything we’ve ever wanted.”

“Baekhyun…” Chanyeol whispers.

He looks down at the two cigarettes, one next to another, as if they were whispering between each other.

“You can think about it.” Baekhyun says.

His hand lays on Chanyeol’s thigh, squeezing the flesh.

“Did Jongdae leave?”

“Why do you care?” Baekhyun asks, shifting closer; he picks one cigarette from the ground and places it between his lips.

Chanyeol takes the lighter from the carpet and looks at it for a while.

“Can you light it for me?” Baekhyun asks

He presses down and lets the flame dance next to his fingers. It’s mesmerizing. Then, he brings it up until it licks again the blackened paper.

“Thank you.” he whispers.

Baekhyun blows the smoke right in his face. He coughs.

“Here.” he offers, giving it to him. “Or…” Baekhyun says, suddenly biting his lips and glancing down. “Or…open your mouth.”

Chanyeol does so, listening to the heartbeats in his ears. Baekhyun leans in, closer and closer until their mouths almost touch. He breathes out, letting all the smoke seep inside of his body, down his throat. All the air is suddenly stifling, thick, viscous.

The door suddenly opens.

“What do you two think that are doing?!”

 

[]~[]

 

Chanyeol climbs down the stairs, staring down at his feet. All the noises are amplified as his steps stutter for a moment. When he woke up in the morning, the black stain was still there, deep into the carpet. The room still smelled vaguely of smoke and he instantly thought about Baekhyun.

“Are you ready?” his mother asks from the doorframe.

Chanyeol shrieks. He only nods.

“Good. I’ll drive you to school then.” she continues, as the keys dangles from one of her fingers.

“I can walk.” he says.

“I said that I would drive you. What time are you off?”

“2.”

“I’ll be in the school yard at 2 then.”

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at this point, i have no idea how many chapters this will have.  
> it's taking me an eternity to write it just because i keep getting annoyed with my writing style and the way everything sounds; anyways...hope you'll enjoy:)

While Chanyeol would like to think that he has everything under control, he doesn’t. Control is a vague term in itself. His life crumbles. Just like a mountain that suddenly has no trees on it and all the ground decides to go for a walk towards the lowland. And unfortunately, Chanyeol is at the bottom of it all.

That’s what he thinks while he’s sitting in the yard at the back of the school, on a big rock. It hurts his bottom, but he doesn’t stand up.

The cigarette is dangling from between his fingers, white, thin, bearing almost no weight to it. He glances at the lighter in the other, at the yellow flame playing around his thumb.

Finally, he puts it between his lips. His fingers are sweaty and clammy; he almost drops the lighter at his feet but he catches it mid-air.

The first breath filled with smoke chokes him. It scratches his throat, like he gulped down a handful of thorns. Suddenly, he feels dizzy as everything is spinning around.

But nonetheless, he takes another smoke. Chanyeol coughs. Maybe he’s about to die, he thinks.

“What are you doing over here?!”

Chanyeol drops the cigarette on the ground. He covers it with his boot, quickly.

“Does it smell like smoke?”

It’s only Jongdae.

“Does it?” Chanyeol croaks.

“You’ve been smoking?!” Jongdae yells.

“Shut up.”

“Okay, okay.” he laughs, sitting down next to him. “Give me some.”

Chanyeol hands him another cigarette and for the first time, he thinks that Jongdae isn’t acting like a chicken on drugs.

“The key is to keep it at first in your mouth only. Don’t get it in your lungs. That hurts.” Jongdae says, blowing a cloud of smoke as he studies the cigarette from one side to another. “You know he digs you, right?”

“Digs me?” Chanyeol laughs.

“Baekhyun has a shit ton of friends. But he spends like…90% of his time with you. That means something, if you ask me.” Jongdae shrugs. “Take it.”

Chanyeol grabs the cigarette and stares at it. He sighs, feeling his heart jumps in the puddle of oil.

“Well…not from now on.” Chanyeol shrugs.

“Fuck parents!” Jongdae says and stands up.

 

[]3[]

 

Chanyeol throws the backpack on the bed and glances over to where his guitar is standing. Outside, it is already dark, a thin, skeleton like darkness, punctured by all those sharp bones of it.

He hears his mother shout something from the kitchen, maybe asking him to go eat. But he only steps towards his guitar and picks it up with one hand. It’s heavy for some reason.

Chanyeol glances outside once again and an idea sparks. It dies down just as quickly; foolish, he thinks.

In all truths and odds, jumping from the window at the first floor might seem inspired in movies. But the idea of a couple of broken bones and guitar doesn’t appeal to him. As much as he’d like to think that he would enjoy the attention received afterwards.

He opens the door and listens. Silence. One step then another, it becomes easier as he reaches the front door. Something creaks and he stops.

Just the floor.

Another step and a second one and he’s right in front of the dark wood. It’s staring back at him with the reflection of his face.

“Chanyeol?”

It’s now or never.

He twists the key, pushes down on the handle and sprints outside without glancing back.

Suddenly, he feels invincible, smart. No, on top of the world, rushing down the stairs before he jumps into the cool darkness.

Freedom, he thinks.

The air gets inside his lungs and he feel famished, breathing in more and more until his body cannot take it anymore. He lets out a giggle and starts running. The guitar is dangling from his shoulder; looks like it’s running too, alongside with him.

 

[]3[]

 

Chanyeol throws a stone, then another. The window slightly opens and a tuff of brown hair appears on the wooden sill.

“What are you doing?”

“A serenade.” he laughs, gently touching the chords of the guitar. It makes a shy sound, barely audible and somehow, it makes him feel the same way.

Chanyeol doesn’t dare to look up as his cheeks become warmer and warmer. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea in the end. With Baekhyun staring right at him, he might just feel like a fool. Dressed in an oversized t-shirt, breaking his curfew.

“What are you going to sing for me?” Baekhyun asks.

“Uhm…” Chanyeol mumbles.

Suddenly, his mind spins around, holding its breath while the neurons swim in a pool fool of sweat and shame.

His fingers start touching the chords again. They slip and the guitar almost curses. At his feet, his poor-poor heart is drowning in the puddle of oil, rising higher and higher. It gets even hotter.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah…just a sec.”

He tries to smile, but is that only a grimace? One breath followed by another. The fingers take their place on the cold strings and Chanyeol closes his eyes.

At first, it goes worse than he has expected, touching the wrong chords as a mosquito is flying around his head. Then, it slowly gets better. Or he has only gotten used to it.

“Uhuu!!” he hears Baekhyun yell in the end in a background of clapping. “I’m coming down so wait for me.”

Chanyeol finally opens his eyes. But the other is gone. He paces around, as the heart jumps faster and faster, admonishing him. The guitar is suddenly too heavy and the mosquito keeps buzzing in his freaking ear.

He tries to slap it but instead, hits himself over the face.

“Fuck!”

“Am I too sexy for you tonight, or what?” Baekhyun smirks.

“Nononono…I mean you…” Chanyeol mumbles.

“Relax.” he says. “That was the best serenade I have ever received.”

“Is it?”

“Well…I have nothing to compare it to, so…yeah?”

Baekhyun laughs. His cheeks turn even hotter in an avalanche of sweat, drowning them.

“I…would have liked it anyways.”

“Really?” Chanyeol whispers.

Even though he’s surely towering over Baekhyun, with his extra 20 centimeters, he feels smaller. Thinner.

“Really.” Baekhyun says.

The streetlights are shining right from behind him so his face is right in a cone of shadows. But Chanyeol’s is perfectly highlighted. His eyes sparkle, glancing down at the other.

“I know I sucked and it sounded terrible and-”

“If I said that I liked it…then don’t say anything else. And even if you sucked…you’re still here…for me.” Baekhyun says, taking a step closer.

Chanyeol breathes out.

“Is that your house?” Chanyeol suddenly asks.

Baekhyun bursts into laughter, sliding even more into his personal space. Too much.

“Yes, dummy.”

“Sorry…I’m…”

“How are you?”

“Don’t do this.” Chanyeol whispers.

“What? What am I doing?” he laughs, getting hold of the other’s arm. “Just tell me what I’m doing?”

“Nothing.”

“Your blush is not nothing.” Baekhyun says and pinches his cheeks. “You know I’m impatient.”

Chanyeol, instead, falls on the grass and grabs Baekhyun by the hem of his pants.

“Is that what you want?” he laughs, kneeling down next to him. “I have…a proposal.” Baekhyun whispers, biting on his lower lip. “No. Smoke one cigarette with me and then the proposal.”

“Okay…”

Chanyeol isn’t sure whether or not he really muttered the words or just thought he did. But it doesn’t matter. Baekhyun is close to him, settling better on the grass, with his head almost on his shoulder but not quite. It’s a deafening silence dripping in the air as Chanyeol watches him put the cigarette between his lips, pull out the lighter and set it on fire.

A big cloud of smoke covers his face. Still silent.

“Here. Let me.” Baekhyun says and with slow gestures, he places it right between Chanyeol’s slightly parted lips. “I was thinking…” he whispers.

Chanyeol coughs, holding the cigarette tightly between his fingers.

“How’s with your mom?”

He shrugs, taking another smoke out of it.

“We haven’t really talked.” he says. “I’m not even sure what she’s mad about.”

“Screw it.”

Baekhyun lounges down on the grass, placing both arms underneath his head.

“It’s none of her business after all.”

“She’s my mother.” Chanyeol whispers.

“Let’s stop talking about this. She should go to hell and that’s it. Fuck her.” Baekhyun says, glancing up at him. “Give me a smoke.”

Chanyeol looks down and then slowly lowers the cigarette until it touches Baekhyun’s lips.

“Now she’ll kill me…”

“Don’t be a wuss.”

“I am-”

“Yes you are. Have you ever done anything that mommy wasn’t okay with?” Baekhyun asks.

“Yes. Right now.”

“Because…”

“I…you’ll laugh at me, of course.”

“I already do that.” Baekhyun says. “It’s past your curfew. So what?”

Chanyeol sighs and falls on his back on the grass; it is surprisingly cold and hard, almost damp.

“What is your proposal?” he asks.

Baekhyun hums, turning on his side. He throws the stump next to him and licks his lips.

“Do you think that you might be…gay? Or bisexual?” he asks.

“Huh?”

“Do you fancy some dick?” Baekhyun laughs.

It makes Chanyeol turn an even deeper shade of red, all camouflaged by the darkness; he shrugs, taking a deep breath in.

“Like…have you ever thought about how it would feel or be like?”

“Have you?” Chanyeol asks instead.

Baekhyun bursts into laughter, turning around on the grass.

“You…didn’t answer my question.” he says, hovering over his face. “So…have you?”

“Maybe…”

“It’s either you have or you haven’t.”

“A couple of times.” Chanyeol says. “I mean…”

Then, he bursts into laughter.

“Just say whatever you want to.”

“No…”

“Oh, come on. It can’t be that bad. Just say that you’ve been thinking about me while rubbing one and we’ll be fine.” Baekhyun says.

He smiles and then, absently starts to chew his thumb with the front teeth.

“So you aren’t gay?”

“Are you?”

“Baekhyun…” he mumbles.

“Maybe. I’m not sure. I haven’t particularly enjoyed anything I’ve done with…guys.”

“What guys?”

“You know…guys.” Baekhyun laughs, a shy one as he chooses to bury his face in Chanyeol’s shoulder.

It all falls silent, with only a lonely cricket singing somewhere close to them.

“Guys that…pay you for it.”

“What?!”

“Just a couple of times…” Baekhyun whispers. “But it hurt.”

Chanyeol’s hand suddenly hovers over the other’s back, dangerously close to the slither of skin revealed by his t-shirt. It almost touches it but it rapidly falls on the grass.

“I need to teach you something.” Baekhyun suddenly says.

He jumps to his feet and drags Chanyeol up with him. “Come on.”

They run, down the street, in the dim lights and emptiness of the road that walks by their side, like a silent witness.

“Here.” Baekhyun says.

“This is a shop.” Chanyeol says.

“Exactly. I’ll teach you an art. Now, go chat with the man at the counter.” Baekhyun says and pushes Chanyeol inside the place.

It’s empty and annoyingly quiet.

He walks towards the wooden desk where a middle aged man is standing.

“Hello. Uhm…” he mumbles, glancing back at Baekhyun who gets lost between the aisles.

“Yuh?”

“I…”

He starts shifting from one foot to another as no words come out of his mouth.

“Uhm…I’d like…uhm…can you give me a pack of…condoms?” he asks.

Chanyeol glances back again but he sees Baekhyun nowhere.

“What type?”

“Uhm…regular. Durex.” he whispers.

“Here. That’s 15 bucks.” the man says.

“One sec…” Chanyeol says, searching his pockets. “10…12…15. Here.”

“Have a good night.” the man says.

Chanyeol turns his head but Baekhyun is nowhere. He slowly walks towards the door, pushes it and steps outside.

“Gotcha!!”

“Fuck! Where have you been?” Chanyeol asks.

“In the store. Getting some stuff.” Baekhyun laughs. “Come on.” he says, grabbing the other’s hand and pulling him towards the lawn of a house.

“Gum. Some pretzels. A magazine and…the cherry on top. Cigarettes. Camel.” Baekhyun says.

“Did you steal them?”

“Right. When you were buying…condoms.” Baekhyun laughs. “You should share those with me.”

“That’s illegal what you did.” Chanyeol says.

“Don’t say.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes, putting everything back in his pockets. “That’s the whole point. The adrenaline. Fighting against the stupid system.”

“That’s not fighting. It’s just breaking the law.”

“It’s not like you haven’t seen me do this before. It’s just some crap.” Baekhyun says.

“Yes, taken from somebody who-”

Baekhyun bursts into laughter, a dry, bad meaning one.

“I actually thought that you were cool. One of us. Not a momma’s boy.” Baekhyun says.

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. And a fucking big one. So fuck off, loser.” he yells, beginning to walk away.

“Baek…”

“Baek-Baek-Baek-shut your fucking mouth.”

Chanyeol stands still, with the guitar still dangling from his shoulder, watching Baekhyun getting further and further away.

“I have friends that can beat the shit out of you if you annoy me. Get it?”

And so, as Chanyeol is watching Baekhyun disappear into the distance, he realizes that maybe he is stubborn and horrible too, in so many ways. The cardboard scratches his finger so he squeezes the box tightly in his fist and throws it on the ground. He crushes it with his shoe and breathes out. Baekhyun is nowhere in his sight and then, Chanyeol remembers the curfew, the homework he was supposed to do, his laundry and the imminent punishment. It all fell on his shoulders, like the cold sweat and horrible boiling blood in his veins. And he thought about Baekhyun again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haven't planned for the fic to go this route, like at all. i don't mind it, though.   
> anyways, i feel like this is the weirdest/most mysterious baekhyun character that i have ever written, because i usually make him quite funny.  
> hope you'll enjoy:) your feedback is appreciated

The floor creaks. Chanyeol closes the door and breathes out. He smells like cigarettes and sweat.

"Where have you been?"

But he only shrugs in response, putting the guitar on the floor.

"I've asked you something!" his mother yells, walking towards him, but Chanyeol sprints out of her way, towards the bedroom.

He locks the door and slips down. The floor is cold, seeping right into the bones.

"Crap..."

 

 

 

[]♡[]

 

 

 

The sweat trickles down, exactly on his eyelid and then, after a couple of seconds, right into his left eye. It stings. He furiously rubs it with a closed fist until it's raw, almost torn open. The aisle is staring back at him, all the shiny bags of chips and biscuits in flaunting colours and infinite reflections of his reddened face.

Chanyeol glances both ways, quickly. It's all empty. He grabs two packets of crackers and shoves them in the large pockets of his hoodie. They barely fit but he pushes them harder and harder until you cannot see their edges.

"Hey! What are you doing there?!"

Chanyeol shrieks, gulping down.

"No-nothing." he whispers.

All his sweat forms puddles at his feet, deep and salty, as his shirt sticks to him, becomes the same with his skin.

"Show me your pockets."

Chanyeol shakes his head.

"Come on, if you don't want any trouble."

He starts running. The door seems so far away, further and further, like his steps don't even count. Everything is spinning around and when he feels his arm being grabbed, he suddenly stops. The crackers fall down on the floor, loudly.

"What are those?!" the man yells just as Chanyeol's ears start buzzing, blocking any other sounds.

 

 

 

[]♡[]

 

 

 

"I must say that I'm proud of you. Not proud that you woke me up, but proud nonetheless." Baekhyun says as Chanyeol steps outside. "First night in prison." he continues, slapping him over the shoulder.

Chanyeol tries to smile, but he can't.

"You stink." Baekhyun says.

"Are you still mad at me?" Chanyeol asks.

"Why would I be? I wasn't really sleeping anyways, so it doesn't matter." 

"No...I was meaning-"

"Now just shh...I'm gonna get myself a coffee." Baekhyun says, running towards a coffee machine at the corner of the street.

Chanyeol watches him stop and bite on his thumb as he puts the coins inside the slot and presses a button.

His heart is surprisingly placid, like himself. The traffic is calm, the street is empty and his stomach churns noisily. He doesn't know how he feels or how he is supposed to. After all, Chanyeol barely remembers how he got into the prison cell, crammed with other people that were watching him weirdly. He couldn't call his mother, of course. Only Baekhyun popped into his mind at the time.

"Dreamer boy." Baekhyun laughs, standing right in front of him. "Got my coffee here."

"What day is it?"

"Saturday? Have the aliens abducted you while you were in there?" Baekhyun asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe." Chanyeol shrugs. "Got a cig?"

"Oho!! Sure..." Baekhyun says, searching through his pockets. "Here. One for you, one for me."

"Thanks." Chanyeol whispers. "Got a..."

"Lighter?"

As the smoke gets into his lungs, he doesn’t cough. Chanyeol breathes out and a smile forms at the corners of his mouth.

"Let's go somewhere." Baekhyun says.

"Where?"

"To a friend of mine. He's cool. Don't worry."

"Why would I worry?"

"You'll see." Baekhyun says.

 

 

 

[]♡[]

 

 

 

Chanyeol thinks that there are many things to worry about when it comes to that friend. Baekhyun stops in front of a house that resembles more a ruin than a place where normal, decent people would live in. At the same time, he figures that these are no decent, normal people.

But Baekhyun doesn't seem affected by any of it. He walks like the way he does at school, with his chin up and a straight back as he bites his thumb from time to time. The entrance door threatens to fall over them, but Baekhyun acts like that's the most normal sight.

"Stay behind me." Baekhyun whispers, quickly glancing back at him.

Chanyeol nods and breathes in the stale, damp smell of the place. The paint is peeling off like dry skin from the walls, falling at times and turning into dust. He coughs. With one hand, he covers his mouth. Down, on the mouldy carpet, there are hundreds and hundreds of cigarette buds, towering over each other.

Then, the hallway leads into a big, rectangular room. It's plunged into darkness and at first, Chanyeol cannot see anything. He squeezes his eyes shut, feeling the dampness stick to his skin. It’s a rancid smell of smoke and decomposing matters.

"Bacon!!"

He shrieks, tripping on something. Chanyeol falls on his knees, feeling the wetness of the carpet underneath his palms.

"Ha-ha-ha! Who's that?"

"Loey." he says. "Stand up." Baekhyun whispers, nudging him in the ribs.

Chanyeol does so, rubbing both hands on his pants. His vision gets better with each second, the thick shadows turning into people staring at him. He gulps down.

"I brought the money."

"Good." the man says, taking the small plastic bag from Baekhyun's hand. "Should we trust him?"

"Yes. He's with me. He’s fine."

"The last one was-"

"I promise it won't happen again. I trust him." Baekhyun says, looking at Chanyeol.

"Good. Should we...test him?"

"He's fine." Baekhyun says again, mouthing at his thumb.

"Is he? Here." the man says, grinning. "A smoke?"

Chanyeol glances back at Baekhyun who nods. He slowly steps forward, staring down at all the folds in the carpet.

"Loey, right?"

He nods.

"We have a new business going. Among other businesses, of course." the man says, keeping the same smile on the face that Chanyeol can’t quite well discern. "We are making small deliveries. And as your first duty...you should take care of them." he continues, spitting on the carpet. "Take that..."

The man points to a corner and he looks that way.

Chanyeol nods, but in the series of words and phrases and letters, he could barely register anything.

He walks towards the small table. The floor creaks and he stops. Chanyeol glances back at Baekhyun, who only stares back at him. As he comes closer, the shape of a brown paper bag forms between the shadows until it finally stands out from them. He touches it quickly, almost expecting something to jump from behind it, right at his throat. It's all quiet, only the crinkle of the paper in his hands as he picks it up;  he keeps it as far as possible from his body as his walk is slow and shaky. All the shadows tremble around him.

"Good boy." the man says. "You have time up until Friday to finish the deliveries."

"Yes." Baekhyun says, and nudges Chanyeol forward, until they get back into the narrow hallway and then, outside where the sun suddenly seems to bright.

Chanyeol exhales all the air he kept in his lungs, looking back at the house.

"What the fuck was that?!"

"My part time job." Baekhyun laughs.

"Are you out of your damn mind?! That a fucking d-"

"I'd keep my mouth shut if I were you. We don't want to..." Baekhyun whispers, dragging his thumb across his throat.

"But why did you..."

"Because...I like you and I trust you. We'll make big money like this."  Baekhyun says, taking the brown bag from his hands. "Now keep this safe." he continues, opening the backpack.

"We'll end up in jail..."

"Not if you keep your mouth shut, Loey." Baekhyun says between gritted teeth.

 

 

 

[]♡[]

 

 

 

"This is so stupid." Chanyeol laughs.

"You are not the one dressed as a woman, so stop complaining." Baekhyun says.

Chanyeol has never been to Baekhyun's house before. His room is big, like four bedrooms of his, but stark empty. There's a mattress thrown in a corner with too many sheets onto it, some boxes stacked on top of each other, forming 3 towers that threaten to fall down. All the walls are tinted grey and the air smells of smoke.

"This zipper is..." Baekhyun mumbles. "Some help?"

Chanyeol grabs the zipper and pulls it up. The red dress is tight on his body.

"Do you like my legs?" he winks.

"Is this really necessary?"

"Not really...but it's fun." Baekhyun says. "Wouldn't you fuck if you saw me like this for the first time?"

Chanyeol turns red and his heart twitches in the puddle at his feet.

"Don't be embarrassed." Baekhyun coos, stepping closer to him. "Here. I'll kiss it to make it better."

Chanyeol closes his eyes, expecting anything. He feels the warm breath on his cheeks, hovering for a little before something soft touches one and then the other.

"Better?" Baekhyun asks.

He's close, too close to him and when he bursts into laughter, every single wrinkle is visible, eyes turning into miniature moons and lips becoming even thinner. His cheeks puff up in a light pink.

"What?" Baekhyun asks.

And then, Chanyeol leans down. It feels natural, having to bend for only a couple of centimetres until his lips comfortably rest against his. They are cracked but warm and even though he's just sitting like that, with his eyes closed once again, his heart is calm.

He's suddenly being pushed backwards, until his ankles hit the side of the mattress.

"I was just joking." Baekhyun says. "You are terrible. You are suppose to move the mouth not just...suck the life out of me."

"Sorry." Chanyeol mumbles.

Now, his heart is beating too fast and it all seems stupid and pointless.

"Have you even fucked someone?" Baekhyun asks.

Chanyeol shakes his head.

"That's cute."

"It isn't. Sorry for the..."

"It's fine. Had worse." Baekhyun says. "If we do this shit well-" he continues, stepping into a pair of red stilettos-"I'll suck you off in this dress."

"Baekhyun...that was not what I..."

"Shut up. How stupid do I look?" he asks as he places a yellow wig on his head.

"You don't...you...I mean-"

"Okay-okay-I'm ravishing. Now let's get moving."

 

 

 

[]♡[]

 

 

 

"Is this the place?"

"How many times should I say yes? You give the stuff and they give the money. Quick and clean. No biggie." Baekhyun says as he keeps pulling the hem of the skirt.

"So...are these-"

"They are here." Baekhyun says, looking towards one of the pillars of the bridge.

"Should I-"

"Just go to them." he whispers, nudging him forward.

Chanyeol makes one step, then another, looking around at the tall bushes on the right side. On the left, there's only the grey water that whips the shore at regular intervals. Up, right on the bridge, he thinks that people go about their quiet lives and their clean and safe cars. Down, Chanyeol sweats, drowning in his own puddle of bodily liquids, walking like usual, but somehow too slowly.

The men become bigger and bigger, looking like black, shiny bugs in their keratin cases. He even expects to see those round eyes staring mindlessly at him, but he doesn't. Instead of those, there are sunglasses.

"What is your friend?" the fattest out of them yells. "A transvestite?"

Chanyeol glances at Baekhyun whose mouth is one thin line. The red, leather dress is shinning in the sharp sunlight, making his skin appear pink and irritated.

"Yes."

"Is she available?! I've always wanted to fuck one." the man laughs.

Chanyeol feels the bile right at the edge of his throat, bitter and stinging. His stomach churns and almost, almost, he shits his pants.

He couldn't understand why Baekhyun decided to dress like that.

"I-I have the...stuff." Chanyeol says instead.

"Wonderful." the man laughs. "I'm Kris. With a K."

"I'm...Loey."

"Loey. Let me see the..."stuff"."

Chanyeol quickly searches through his backpack, fumbling with the contents until he retrieves a small, plastic bag.

"He-here."

"Are you new?" Kris asks as he weights the bag.

"In this region." he says.

"I see. How much?"

"500."

"Too much."

"It's good stuff."

"I bought some other "good stuff", cheaper. 300."

"No way!" Baekhyun yells, walking forwards them in his red stilettos.

His walk is slow as he keeps pulling at his skirt.

"The babe is coming." Kris laughs.

"350. Because she's cute."

"500." Baekhyun says.

"370."

"500 and that's the last."

Chanyeol doesn't even know how it happened but in a second, Baekhyun is pointing a gun towards the man. "Give him 500. Now."

"Alright, alright." Kris laughs. "Here. The babe is a toughie."

"Now. Leave." Baekhyun says, still holding the gun towards him.

"No goodbye kiss?"

"I said-"

"Alright-alright!" Kris laughs, stepping back towards the pillar until he disappears right behind of it.

"What the actual fuck! What the..." Chanyeol mumbles.

"Here. Hold it." Baekhyun says, handing him the gun.

"No."

"Take the gun, Chanyeol!" he yells.

"Is this even legal?!"

"Is any of this legal? Just hold it so I can count the money." Baekhyun says.

"Fine." he whispers, taking it from him.

It's heavier than he has expected. Scarily so.

"500." Baekhyun says.

"Can we leave now?"

"Yeah, scared cat."

"That was-"

"You are a drug dealer. Get used to it." Baekhyun says.

He takes off his shoes and throws them away, into the muddy waters.

"I hate those. Carry me on your back." he says.

Chanyeol huffs as Baekhyun wraps both arms around his neck and dangles his feet through the air as he is being pulled up.

"Hold my legs, you kitten." he whispers into Chanyeol's ear.

He shivers, almost dropping him onto the ground.

 

 

 

[]♡[]

 

 

 

"Could you unzip this crap?" Baekhyun says.

"Sure."

Chanyeol stands up from the mattress, walking towards him. He slowly unzips it, as the dress is almost glued to his skin. It falls down with a thud, collecting right at their feet.

"Where's your..."

"Did you actually think I'd wear underwear with this?" Baekhyun laughs as Chanyeol covers his eyes with both hands.

He sometimes peaks between his fingers, glancing at the slightly pink expanse of skin, shinning with sweat.

"Like what you see?"

Baekhyun winks.

"Please...can you get dressed?"

"Stop being like this!!" he says, walking towards him to remove both hands. "You've seen a dick too. Yours...mine is no different. I mean...maybe smaller but...same shit."

"Say something!!" Baekhyun yells.

"Uhm...I should go...home?"

"Not yet."

He grabs Chanyeol's arm and drags him towards the mattress.

"I said what I said earlier."

So he pushes him down and Chanyeol can now fully see the nakedness of his body.

"You don't have to..."

"Yes, I do..."

"Baek..."

"I've done this before, trust me." Baekhyun says as he kneels down between his parted legs. "No rocket science. Take it in the mouth, suck it a bit and it's over."

"Baekhyun..."

"Stop mumbling." he says as he unzips the pants.

He pulls them down, harshly, dragging with them the underwear too.

"See-you are hard. No need to be ashamed."

"Baekhyun!"

"What?!" he says as he wraps a hand around it.

"If you do it just...I-I want to-"

"Do you want this or not?" he huffs, stopping.

Chanyeol blinks, feeling the sweat beads drip right into his eyes.

"Yes but-"

"Then shut up." he says.

The pace suddenly quickens, too much too fast, but Chanyeol keeps quiet, biting on his lower lip. Baekhyun leans in and licks a stripe across it, a second and a third one until he slowly sinks down to the expanse of skin covered in thin, black hairs.

Chanyeol would like to think that he lasted more, but when he harshly hit the back of the other's throat, he exploded.

"You were quick." Baekhyun says as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Sorry, I..."

"You said that you are a virgin. No need to..."

He finishes the sentence by waving one hand around.

"Are you upset?"

"Tired. You should head home." Baekhyun says.

"Should I...don't you want me to-"

"I'm not into it. I need a shower and you should go home."

Chanyeol sighs and stands up. His pants are gathered around his ankles, so he pulls them up, feeling like a living character from a bad porn.

"Uhm..."

But Baekhyun has already turned around and entered the bathroom. Chanyeol quietly opens the door, which screeches loudly for a while, as he runs down the stairs and into the street.

"Fuck!" he mutters, kicking a stone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am quite happy with the character of baekhyun. on the other hand, i feel like chanyeol needs a little more personality which i hope to accomplish in the next couple of chapters.  
> hope you'll enjoy:)

 

[2 years later]

 

Chanyeol is suddenly glad that it's Monday. He's even happier to see all those people he doesn't know their names but only their faces walking around, surrounding him. Being everywhere on the hallways, harmless.

He sits down at his day to day desk and breathes out. The backpack feels heavier than usual-maybe it's only in his mind; it falls down with a harder thud than he's accustomed to and then, it's just the buzz of all those people talking about trivial things. It calms him down, so much that everything is blanked out by his mind, remaining only the contours of the blackboard in front of his eyes.

"Do you have my stuff?"

Someone stops right in front of his desk, staring him down.

"What?"

"Don't play dumb."

"Oh." Chanyeol whispers.

"So...where is it?! I got the money." the other continues.

Chanyeol keeps looking at him and even though he knows what he is asking for, the question makes little sense in his mind. How did he end up like this?

He stands up, careful not to disrupt the chair and make it screech. The backpack hangs in one hand as he is walking out of the classroom, to the yard. Exactly how Baekhyun used to instruct him. Like he has done countless of times that he doesn’t even remember. Only some of them. Mostly, the worst ones.

From time to time, he glances back, and the other is walking behind him, at a safe distance. For some reason, he thinks he knows him. Has seen him somewhere. Maybe bought before, but too many buy anyways, so the faces just get mixed up.

He stops, right behind a wall, where nobody can see them.

"Here." he barely whispers as his throat is too dry.

Chanyeol coughs and grabs the money. He walks away, counting them.

At this point, it has almost become a routine. Sit at the same desk. Have the same delivery spot. Go back each Friday to the house that looks like a ruin; leave the money and take another delivery.

Over and over.

He's used to it, but each Monday, it feels new. The gravel cracks underneath his shoes as he goes back inside the school. It's silent and Chanyeol feels calm, calmer than usual after finishing a delivery.

Then, he thinks that he hears something on his right, between the tall bushes. He looks that way but nothing moves. His fingers instinctively go to his belt where a small hand gun is hidden between his clothes. They wrap around it as he keeps walking and waiting.

"Hands up!! The Police is here! Put your hands up and come to your knees!!"

Chanyeol pulls the gun out and turns around. 5 men in police uniforsm are staring at him, each of them holding a gun.

"Drop the gun!! Now!!" one of them yells as Chanyeol pulls the trigger.

 

[present day]

 

"1000 dollas. From only a week." Baekhyun says, lounging on the mattress.

Chanyeol is sitting right next to him, staring at the grey ceiling. The smoke has made patterns in the prior white, soft wings cut from imaginary bodies and geometrical forms, continuing right on the walls.

"Just imagine how much we could make together in a couple years." Baekhyun continues, turning around on his side.

"Come on." he says, nudging him in the ribs. "Don't you want to be rich?"

"Yeah..." Chanyeol whispers. "But legally. This is-"

"Much more fun." Baekhyun smirks, leaning down to place a kiss on his lips. "Like this."

He shifts even closer, leaving no space between their bodies until he decides to straddle his lap.

"Baek..."

His hands rest on the other's waist, squeezing the expanse of uncovered skin from time to time. Chanyeol has yet to get used to this closeness. It's comforting but frightening at the same time, as Baekhyun starts to slowly move on top of him. Pleasant at first, making his stomach idly churn with butterflies trapped inside of it.

"And after we make aaalll the money that we want..." Baekhyun whispers in his ear as he unbuttons his shirt with sure fingers-"then we could party and go wherever the fuck we want."

"Just me and you?" Chanyeol asks.

The white shirt is thrown on the floor and Baekhyun nods.

"If you want to. Only a couple years..."

His words get lost as he nips alongside Chanyeol's neck, down to his chest. He then stops, humming something at the back of his throat.

"You could get buffer...hit the gym a little..." he says, beginning to suck on a nipple.

"How much do you like me?" Baekhyun asks with a smile.

In response, Chanyeol gulps down, pulling harder and harder at the belt loops of the other's jeans.

"Words..." Baekhyun whispers into his ear, licking down to the earlobe that he then starts sucking on.

"A...a lot." Chanyeol says.

Baekhyun laughs, coming off his lap, back on the mattress. He searches on the floor, body slightly bent and shinning with sweat, until he finds what he's been looking for.

"Want one?" he asks.

Chanyeol nods.

With a small smile, Baekhyun places a cigarette between his lips. He lights it quickly and then his own. The smoke envelops their faces. Chanyeol feels his lungs inflate like a balloon until they almost burst open, but they don’t. He's suddenly calmer until the smoke leaves his mouth. Then, he can clearly feel its pungent, stale taste that it leaves behind. He goes for a second breath of it.

"You got the hang of it." Baekhyun says. "Are we a team, then?"

"Yeah...we are." Chanyeol whispers.

Baekhyun quickly kisses him on the lips, then laughs.

"We should have business cards. A cell phone we use only for this shit. Write the phone number on the bathroom stalls."

"Do you mean that we should sell in the school?"

"Schools." Baekhyun laughs, throwing the cigarette bud on the floor.

 

[]•[]

 

"This looks so professional." Baekhyun says, playing with the piece of grey paper in his hand.

Chanyeol is holding a small Nokia phone that they bought from a thrift store.

"It has the snake game on it." he laughs.

"I'm going over to the boss to take some more." Baekhyun says. "Stop playing with that."

"What if we get caught?" Chanyeol asks after a while.

"We won't, silly. Unless you are stupid and stop listening to me. In no time we'll be rich as fuck."  Baekhyun says, putting the card back on top of the stack.

"Tonight there's a party..." he continues, stepping around in the room."We could sell some. Make a name for ourselves."

"People will talk Baekhyun." Chanyeol says, looking up at him from the floor.

"I have a fucking gun. I'm pretty sure they won't dare. We could ask Jongdae to help us. Give him a share of the profits." he says, stopping for a second as he searches through his pockets, before he is pacing again. "Think of it!!" Baekhyun yells, looking straight at the other. "That would be the smartest business move that we could do."

"And what if we go to jail?"

"We could go right now. Don't you see it?!" Baekhyun says, stopping right in front of him. "We must take risks to succeed. You are my partner. You have my back, right?" he asks.

Chanyeol nods, looking at the floor.

"Good."

 

[]•[]

 

Everybody dances around him as the music is blasted from the speakers. He looks around, but he sees no familiar face. No Baekhyun.

The crowd pushes him to one side then to another until he almost looses balance. His throat is dry and his hands, clammy.

The backpack dangles on his shoulder. Chanyeol grabs it tighter, afraid that it would slip from between his fingers. All those glassy eyes of people he doesn't know seem to be staring at him, pinning him down. Him and the backpack. He looks at it and when he glances up, someone smiles at him.

Chaneol quickens his pace, tries to, but the crowd wouldn't let him. The heart is kicking at his ears, harder and harder until the music becomes null. Chanyeol almost slips in the puddle of oil that keeps pouring from all his pores.

He sees Baekhyun.

But sitting on a couch, with a girl in his arms as another is right by his side. His hands roam all over their bodies, with confidence, shakily but sure. One stops at the base of the first girl's back, slowly going down. She giggles and licks down a stripe on his neck.

"You said that we were supposed to do 'business'!" Chanyeol yells.

He doesn't know when he stopped right in front of them.

"Huh?" Baekhyun mumbles, pushing the girl aside.

"Business." Chanyeol repeats, chewing his bottom lip; he stares at her, at the pout on her glossy lips and wants to smash them. Smash her face.

"Oh." Baekhyun whispers, his mouth remaining O shaped. "This is...this is Seulgi. That is Yeri."

He points to each of them before he bursts into laughter.

"Youuu-" he points again, with a grin-"should take care of the business tonight. Riiiighht?"

Chanyeol sighs, throwing the backpack on the floor. It hits the couch, falling sideways next to some cans of beer that spill over it.

"You know what?!" Chanyeol yells. "I'm out! You take care of your fucking business, because I won't!!"

 

[]•[]

 

"Yeeeolliee!!"

Chanyeol speeds up his pace until his heels hurt and all the dust and pebbles stir up around, forming a small brown cloud that surrounds him.

"Chanyeollie!!"

The air leaves his lungs. He stops.

"What?!"

He doesn't turn around, only grabs tighter at the backpack. It smells sour and horrible, making him sick to his guts.

"Yeol...I'm...I'm solly..." Baekhyun says.

Two thin arms wrap around his middle, loosely hanging, barely holding to him. Chanyeol steps away. His entire body shivers and his stomach churns.

"I'm sooo...sooo solly." Baekhyun mumbles, wrapping his arms again.

Lower this time, fingers clawing at the belt hoops.

"I'm solly. I'm bad." he whispers.

Baekhyun pouts, leaning against his back. Chanyeol exhales and touches his hand. Lightly at first, feeling the stickiness of the overheated skin under his cold one. The night is warm, blowing dead, shrivelling leaves around them.

"I'm solly." he whispers again.

Baekhyun lifts on his tiptoes and kisses the column of his neck. The taste is salty, almost bitter but it doesn't stop him. He licks a stripe up to his ear that he sucks around.

"Stop it..." Chanyeol says.

"Why...yo d'want me?" Baekhyun asks.

"You are drunk or...whatever." Chanyeol says.

"I am...not."

"Baekhyun."

"Cally me back home..."

He suddenly bends down, letting go of Chanyeol, and for a couple of seconds only stares at the ground.

"My fingels ale pulpleee..." he coos before a brown liquid comes out of his mouth, trickling down on his chin and shirt.

Baekhyun coughs, hard, falling on his knees, as he keeps puking and puking.

"Fuck." Chanyeol says. "Should I call an ambulance or what?"

"Please...home." Baekhyun whispers.

 

[]•[]

 

Chanyeol turns on the light with one hand. Everything hurts, his limbs, his back, his head. Even his eyes, in the sudden brightness of the bulb above his head.

"Are we home?"

"Yeah..." Chanyeol says, walking towards the mattress with the other still dangling like a broken puppet on his back.

"I'm going home."

"Don't...." Baekhyun says, grabbing his hand. "Please..."

"Fine."

He sits down next to him, placing his head on the knees.

"Chanyeol."

"What?!"

Baekhyun starts fidgeting with an unopened cigarette pack that he retrieved from his pocket. His eyes are covered by shadows, as the cheeks appear hollow.

"I...I hope you didn't leave the backpack there...then we'll be real fucked." he says after a while.

"It's right here." Chanyeol says and as to prove his point, he kicks it.

It trips over, on the floor, no longer leaning on the mattress. The stale smells escapes from it confines and Chanyeol remembers the way the other was at the party.

"Let's just sleep." Baekhyun says. "I feel like shit."

"That's it?" Chanyeol asks.

He stands up, almost tripping on the backpack.  The room starts spinning around with him, slowly and then faster and faster. He smells his t-shirt and then the hair that falls around his face. It reeks of nicotine.

Baekhyun is silent, staring blankly at his fingers.

"That's it?! You-you've been making out with two chicks like-like it was nothing. Do I not..."

"Was I not allowed?" Baekhyun asks.

"Allowed?"

"You are implying that we are a 'thing'." he says, opening the pack.

He takes one cigarette out and studies it for a couple of seconds before it is placed between his cracked lips. With one hand he searches around his bed, between the white sheets until he finds the lighter. The fire immediately licks the paper. Smoke.

Chanyeol kicks a book with his foot. It hits the wall and opens right in the middle.

"I've told you. I'm not...gay." Baekhyun says.

He breathes out.

"Fine." Chanyeol says.

For one second, he thinks about turning around, taking the backpack and setting it on fire. He is sure that he would be able to grab the lighter from Baekhyun, maybe push him over. Chanyeol can almost smell the smoke that would be rising up to the ceiling as the yellow and red fire would be destroying everything. His throat is dry, too dry. The image is vivid in his mind. Real.

"Chanyeol." Baekhyun says.

Too late.

"Don't leave. I like you. I can make it up for tonight."

"How?" Chanyeol asks.

His fist closes and opens, nails digging into his palm.

"Baby...don't ruin this. I didn't mean for it. I was very drunk...that's all. You have to believe me that I wanted us tonight to be a team and make business. You are my partner." Baekhyun says.

He stands up and stops when his chest touches Chanyeol's back.

"Do you still want to leave...me?"

Chanyeol breathes in and shakes his head. He doesn't.

All those thoughts leave his mind, replaced by others.

"Baby..." Baekhyun whispers.

Chanyeol shivers.

"What do you want us to do?"

He shrugs, turning around. Baekhyun laughs, kissing him on one cheek then on the other. Next are the forehead, both eyes, the tip of the nose and chin.

Chanyeol lets out a small giggle that's muffled by a short kiss on the lips. Then, the pecks return to the rest of his face until the giggle turns into laughter.

"What?" Baekhyun laughs. "Use your words. Words..."

"Baek." Chanyeol laughs when the other bites down on his earlobe.

"Huh?"

"Cuddling?" he whispers.

"What? I didn't hear you."

"Cuddle." Chanyeol says, louder.

"Huh? Still didn't really hear you." Baekhyun says just as Chanyeol wraps both arms around his thin frame.

He pulls him up, fully shaking, and even quicker, throws him on the mattress.

"Ouch." he laughs.

"Cuddle with me." Chanyeol says, sitting right next to him.

"Fine. I'll cuddle you."

"Fine."

"Fine." Baekhyun laughs, placing his arm over his middle. "So...I'm the big spoon?"

Chanyeol nods, intertwining their fingers. His heart beats faster, trapped like a fish in a place with too little water. It's suffocating. He feels ecstatic, as this one simple gesture, the back hug, everything, makes him feel better and worse than all the kisses and intimate touches. This seems scarily more intimate. Closer.

Clothes touching clothes, almost like skin touching skin.

"Are you asleep?" Baekhyun whispers.

Chanyeol shakes his head.

"This is nice."

"I know..."

"You little..." he laughs, tickling his belly.

“Stoooop…”

“I’m sorry. You should know that.” Baekhyun says.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you think baekhyun is sincere or not?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 updates in a week?! what kind of sorcery is this? hehe  
> hope you'll enjoy:)

"Mooorning..." Baekhyun whispers.

He stretches his limbs, hitting the other over the stomach, hard enough to draw a grunt out of him.

"I should get home." Chanyeol says with eyes closed.

"This early?" Baekhyun asks.

He lays flat on his belly, placing a leg over Chanyeol's. The sun is peaking behind the transparent curtains, reflecting like scales on his tan skin. They fly down, in spirals on the sheets that brush against his feet, until they fall on the floor, melting into the dust.

"Where are your parents, anyways?" Chanyeol asks.

Baekhyun shrugs, yawning. The boy looks at his face and thinks that even with dark purple around his eyes or hair falling all over his face, he is beautiful.

"Mom is in Canada with some Indian guy." Baekhyun says after a while. "A cigarette?" he asks as he lights his own.

"And your dad?"

Baekhyun shrugs again, throwing one at Chanyeol; it slips between his fingers, on the bed. "Doesn't give a fuck. If he could, he'd want me to share my profits with him." he laughs. "What about you?"

"Mom is divorced. Dad is remarried." he says.

"Huh. So you have step things?"

"2."

"Fun." Baekhyun rolls his eyes, blowing some smoke in his direction. "Do you see them?"

"Sometimes." Chanyeol says, sighing.

He breathes out the smoke and watches it disappear. Truthfully, he has never give much thought to the divorce, the marriage, to his siblings that he never asked for. Everything followed naturally, without asking him any questions.

"I wouldn't want to see them. Or him, if I were you." Baekhyun says, biting down on Chanyeol's shoulder.

"Why?"

"Because...he's a fucker, that's why. I've never seen the cunt of my mother since she has run away with her rich fuck. He never loved you enough as she never loved me enough. So...he only deserves a kick to the nuts." Baekhyun says, this time kissing his shoulder.

"He's nice...he still buys me Christmas gifts." Chanyeol says with a smile. "This year he got me that guitar..."

"I'll get you something better, alright?" Baekhyun says.

"Like?"

"Is it a surprise if I tell you, huh?"

"No, buuut..."

"Shut up."

Baekhyun kisses him on the lips, softly, then on the tip of his nose. "Go home!" he whispers and slaps his leg.

 

[]▪[]

 

"What's this?! Huh?! What is this, Chanyeol?!" the woman yells, throwing the packet of cigarettes on the floor.

He thinks that only minutes ago there were dozens of small bags in a bigger paper one right in that same backpack.

"What you see."

"Is this because of that Baekhyun boy?! Chanyeol I sw-"

"What? What will you do?! What you did after dad left you? Because you couldn't keep him next to you?!"

"Chanyeol...watch your m-"

"Or what?!" he yells; Chanyeol runs straight to his room, hits the door and throws the backpack right onto the floor.

He thinks about calling Baekhyun, but Baekhyun wouldn’t understand. Or pretend he doesn’t. And Chanyeol doesn’t want to act indifferent, unaffected, as if the call would be exactly that. So he doesn’t call him. Even if he wants to and needs to, he doesn’t. Instead, he dials another number.

Jongdae picks up at the third try. Chanyeol has never felt happier, more relieved to hear his voice, usually irritating; just like a mosquito that flies around your head at night that you keep trying to kill but you can. At some point, you come to ignore it or even find it comforting.

 

[]▪[]

 

"You've actually thought about me?" Jongdae asks as he stirs into his instant coffee.

"I have." Chanyeol laughs.

He thinks that this might be nice. Whatever situation he might have willingly put himself into. Jongdae seems calm in the warm sunlight. Tanned and probably still filled with sleep and a hungover but more pleasant that his mother. It’s warm in his kitchen, smelling like coffee beans and cheap cologne that Chanyeol uses too. It even reminds him of those rare mornings when he would catch his father at home, freshly shaved and perfumed.

"A friend is coming too." Jongdae says after a while.

"Oh."

"He's chill. Like you." he smiles, throwing the spoon into the sink.

It misses, falling on the tile with a clink that sends shudders down Chanyeol's spine. That's when he notices, looking down, that the floor is dirty. No. Everything is dirty. Covered in a thin layer of dust and dunked into the scent of nicotine that still lingers everywhere; masked by coffee and cologne.

"And you live here alone?" Chanyeol asks, still looking around.

His fingers fall from the mug he was holding. A yellow smudge is right near the edge; exactly from where he had been sipping the warm liquid. He has the need to clean his hands on his pants but they get stickier, covered in black lint.

"They pay my rent and everything. You know...a village doesn't have a fucking Harvard." Jongdae laughs.

The bell rings.

Chanyeol glances towards the door which slowly opens.

First, he sees some brown hair followed by a pair of glasses with thick frames, and then the rest of the body. Small, it almost seems like his head and glasses take most of the space.

"Hey..."

"Kyungsoo-ya!!!" Jongdae yells in his normal voice; he runs over to him and envelops the other in a tight hug.

"That's Chanyeol." he says.

"Hey..."

"Hi." he says, shorter, colder than he has intended.

Kyungsoo looks somewhere else, fumbling with his backpack straps.

"Come on, don't stand in my doorway." Jongdae says.

He pushes Kyungsoo forward until he almost falls on his front.

"Chanyeol. Kyungsoo was you before you happened to come into our lives." Jongdae says.

"Huh?"

"Introverted. Shy. Clumsy as fuck."

"Not true." Chanyeol laughs.

He slaps Jongdae over the arm and the other slaps him back until it all becomes a contest of who the winner is; there’s no one in the end.

When Chanyeol looks at Kyungsoo, the boy is smiling, his cheeks touching the edges of the frames, squishing them down. It fades quickly when he realizes that he's being noticed.

"Found it funny?" Chanyeol asks, raising an eyebrow.

Somehow, he feels powerful now. Knowing and doing more thing than Jongdae or Kyungsoo, being so close to Baekhyun. Living dangerously and telling his mother off; being opposite to whom he really is.

"No." Kyungsoo shakes his head.

"Don't scare him." Jongdae says brushing his fingers through Kyungsoo's hair.

"I don't. I'm not...scary." Chanyeol says.

He then suddenly thinks about the gun, about Baekhyun holding it so certain in front of those men; about the backpack and the house in ruin.

"Sure you aren't." Jongdae says. "Want a smoke?" he asks, handing him a pack of cigarettes.

"Kyungsoo here doesn't?" Chanyeol asks, tilting his head towards the boy.

"No."

"Yes, I do." Kyungsoo quickly says, not looking at any of them.

"He's just trying to impress you. Like...why would he have to impress a nerd like you?!" Jongdae asks, laughing. "Huh? Should I impress you?"

"Just shut up." Chanyeol laughs.

"What should we do to impress the mighty Chanyeol, Baekhyun's lap pup?!" Jongdae asks, with the same jokingly-mocking tone.

"Shut your fucking mouth." Chanyeol says, hitting the table with his closed fist. "Why did you say that?"

He feels the tips of his ears burning, turning red, as he has fallen from his power high into the small puddle at his feet. Kyungsoo is watching him from behind those big glasses that he suddenly wants to smash.

"Am I lying? I mean...you got angry so there's some truth in that." Jongdae says.

He takes another sip from his coffee, slowly, watching the other from behind thick lashes.

"It's not. Baekhyun and I are friends. We are equals."

"Sure. Baekhyun is always 'equals' with his puppies. If that's what you want to call it." he shrugs.

"You are hi-his friend." Chanyeol mumbles.

"I am. But I don't want to see you both in a prison cell. I know what you two are up to." Jongdae says after a while. "So...if you want to be a lap puppy, be one."

"Fuck you!" Chanyeol says and stands up.

Kyungsoo is still looking at him and that makes him even angrier.

"What the fuck do you want, huh?!" he spits out.

Somehow, Chanyeol thinks he’s angrier with Kyungsoo than with Jongdae. But why?

 

[]▪[]

 

He's walking rapidly on the street, feeling his lungs burn with exhaustion as the buildings fade and all the people disappear and he's alone with all the rage that’s slowly turning into tiredness.

"Chanyeol!"

But he doesn't stop, only increases his pace until his foot hits a rock and the pain surges up through his leg. "Fuck!"

"Chanyeol, stop it, damn it! I knew you had long legs but-stop it!!"

Chanyeol looks back and sees Jongdae. Closely after him, there's Kyungsoo. The same tuff of brown hair and black spectacles that watch him with barely hidden curiosity that seems to be seeping from his every pore.

"What?"

"Give me a sec." Jongdae huffs, leaning forward on his knees. "I-whoof-I'm not particularly sorry for what I said."

"Then why are you here?" Chanyeol asks.

"Because you are my friend and yada yada yada. You are younger than me." he huffs, looking up at him. “Than Baekhyun.”

"Cut the bullshit."

"That wasn't any bullshit. You are younger and I am supposed to-"

"No, you are not." Chanyeol says, looking at Kyungsoo instead; the anger returns, stronger. "I might say that you have a lap puppy too."

Jongdae glances back too and sighs. "That's totally dif-"

"Yeah. Tell that to someone else." Chanyeol mutters.

"Fiine! Do whatever the fuck you want. Don't tell me later that I was right!" Jongdae yells as Chanyeol is walking away, further and further away.

 

[2 years later]

 

The gun is shaking in his hand as smoke is coming from the tip. It falls on the ground when he hears a loud noise coming from somewhere in the distance. He looks around and only sees those men in their blue uniforms staring at him with their guns pointed at his body. One of them is fallen down and Chanyeol wants to see his face, but he cannot.

He wonders if it had been his doing. There's another noise and maybe shouting but Chanyeol isn't certain.

Sweat trickles down, sticky and itchy, slipping between his eyelashes into his eyes. They burn and when his hand goes up, he sees red.

Shiny red that falls down right on the gun. It smells horrible, like iron that covers every inch of skin until there's only blood everywhere.

He closes his eyes, squeezing them tightly. Chanyeol tastes iron in his mouth too. His eyes open at their own accord then and he hopes that there's no blood. But there is and even more.

 

[ present time ]

 

"Wait."

"What?!" Chanyeol says and stops.

Kyungsoo comes to a halt and stares down at his shoes and then up at him. His eyes are funnily big and round, making him laugh.

"I could work for you and Baekhyun. I need money. I really do."

"No."

"Chanyeol, I-I need some money. Please." Kyungsoo says but Chanyeol starts walking, feeling his chest fill with anger and pity, but all for himself.

Not for Kyungsoo.

"No. You don't want to do this."

"Yes, I do. Just for a while. I swear I don't want to-to..." he whispers, running after him, panting.

"Fine." Chanyeol says. "Fine." he continues, louder, until the words take shape in his mind. "Fine."

"Thank you." Kyungsoo smiles. "It's just for a while. To buy...some stuff."

"I don't care."

"I'm-"

"Tomorrow after school wait for me. I'll give you what you need to ‘deliver’. You should give me the money until next Wednesday. A week from now." he says as Kyungsoo looks at him from behind his glasses.

 

[]▪[]

 

"Iiii...might have heard about our newest aaaand first employee. Kyungsoo." Baekhyun says as he is playing with a deck of cards.

"How?" Chanyeol asks, looking back at him.

"A birdie might have told me." Baekhyun grins. "Come here." he pats down.

Chanyeol looks one more time outside and then down at his phone, at his mother's phone number. He doesn't even remember how many times he let her call until the screen turned black and then bright green again. Another call.

"Are you coming?" Baekhyun asks.

He smells like smoke and damp, mouldy places. Chanyeol hates it, makes him think of that house and that old carpet that was so strange and sticky.

"Are you upset?" he asks.

"My mother..." Chanyeol whispers.

"Screw her. You could move in with me."

He kisses him on the cheek, trailing his fingers down to his waistline. “It could be reeeally fun, you know?!?” Baekhyun whispers, taking his earlobe between his teeth.

He bites on it and Chanyeol shivers.

“What do you think?”

Chanyeol shrugs.

“You are such a wimp. A sad little wimp.”Baekhyun says, throwing the cards on the floor, until they almost cover it but not quite.

“I can’t just take all my belongings and…leave.”

“That’s exactly what you should do.” Baekhyun says after a while. “But you are too much of a coward to do it anyways.”

“Baek…” Chanyeol whispers, looking at him.

“Screw it.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the first part of this chapter; it would have taken me far too long to post the whole thing so i've just decided to split it into two. this whole fic might have more than 8 chapters, reaching 10 maybe. it all depends.   
> hope you'll enjoy:)

[2 months later]

 

Chanyeol doesn't know how it happened. No. He does actually know. Quite well, after all, the scene playing vividly in his mind every time he looks up and sees the dark wood that keeps staring at him. He knows, because somehow, at the back of his mind, he is certain that it has all been his fault. After all, he should have foreseen it, but he didn't. It's all quiet around him, much too quiet for how many people there are. It's strange.

Baekhyun is right next to him. Looking like always, smelling like nicotine and mouldy places and this time, a tinge of cologne. It's sickening. Chanyeol would like to hold his hand, feel his fingers touching his, but he can't.  There's nothing much that he can do.

All those transparent people are walking away, slowly, getting lost among the trees. But they remain still.

It smells sweet in the air and his eyes burn. His hand goes up and feels something warm on his cheek. It's wet.

"Let's go." Baekhyun says, distant.

Chanyeol nods but the knot in his throat grows wider. He looks around, expecting to see those cars with bright sirens and horrible sounds. But there's none. It's all empty.

"Chanyeol, come on." Baekhyun says and looks back at him.

 

[the present]

 

"Here." Chanyeol says.

The brown bag is light in his hands. He looks to his left and then right before he finally let's go of it.

"Until next Wednesday, right?"

"Right." he says.

Chanyeol closes his backpack, throws it on his shoulder and chews on his bottom lip. Kyungsoo looks comically small in front of him.  Now, there are three too big things sticking out on his too small body: the glasses, his head and backpack. The backpack might be the biggest out of all of them.

"Chanyeol." Kyungsoo says as he shoves it into the bag that seems to be a never ending black hole.

"What?"

"Nothing." he whispers.

Kyungsoo looks somewhere else and suddenly, Chanyeol feels too old, too big; like a giant compared to the other.

He hasn't even bothered to find out how old he is. What's his favourite snack or whether or not he has any siblings. In front of him could be only a cardboard cut-out and it would almost be the same.

Why does Kyungsoo need the money? What use, after all?!

"Will you manage it?" he asks when he figures that the other won't leave so easily.

"Yeah." he nods. "Why?"

"Nothing. Just asking." Chanyeol shrugs.

Is he really Baekhyun’s dog?

"I...are you going to your classes?" Kyungsoo asks.

"What?"

"Classes-are you-"

"Yeah." Chanyeol whispers.

They both start walking, his backpack feeling lighter on his right shoulder. Someone stares at him right when he places his foot on the first step. The gaze follows him and when he looks that way, Kyungsoo is looking at him too. He has never seen that person before. But when he stops right next to him, he knows the scope. It's right there, at the back of his mind. Burning.

"Do you have some?"

"Yeah. Sure. How much?"

"2."

"120$." Chanyeol says.

He looks around. It almost feels like all those other eyes are glued to him. Watching his every move. Knowing. Waiting for his mistake and at any minute to hear a siren and a police car to stop right in front of the gate. Throw him inside as everybody is laughing right at him.

His palms are sweaty and slippery as he leads the way to the back of the school. Even his legs tremble. Now he remembers that he left Kyungsoo somewhere. But where?

"Here." he says.

Chanyeol squeezes the money in his hand. He breathes out and closes his eyes. There's no siren, no police. No anything. Only the heartbeat in his ears.

 

[]♤[]

 

Baekhyun has been cold. Jongdae has been looking anywhere else but at him. Chanyeol knows he is avoiding him and he tries to do the same. It's almost working as much as it doesn't work returning the same coldness towards Baekhyun. Only Kyungsoo is warm, is small and more real than anything in his life right now.

He doesn't smell like nicotine, like his clothes have started to, or mould and cheap perfume.

No. It's a fabric softener scent that lingers around his body while sometimes his hair smells like wild strawberries.

Baekhyun wraps an arm around a girl's middle-Seulgi, is that her?-and laughs, brightly, before he whispers something in her ear. He suddenly looks back, straight at him and the laugh is replaced by a mocking smile.

Chanyeol's stomach grumbles and he looks somewhere else. He misses Baekhyun; his anger outbursts and even more sudden ecstatic ones; all those nights spent on the mattress, smoking and talking about nothing.

He doesn't remember any of their conversations. None. Did they have any or just kissed from time to time and blew smoke at the ceiling?

"Are you upset?"

That's Kyungsoo, walking a couple of steps behind him, holding his books tight at his chest.

Chanyeol shakes his head. He doesn't want to talk, not now. Baekhyun is still right in front of him, closer and closer. He's not laughing anymore.

"We could..." Kyungsoo whispers but shakes his head. "I heard that you..."

Baekhyun turns around, again. But he's not looking at Chanyeol. He's looking somewhere else.

"Why are you standing behind?" Baekhyun asks. "Come on."

He extends his arm and wiggles his fingers through the air as Chanyeol quickly looks at Kyungsoo.

"Sorry. Later." he says and runs towards Baekhyun.

"I...missed you." Baekhyun whispers into his ear.

"Did you?"

"Of course, dummy." he laughs, placing a kiss close to where his jaw and neck meet. "Let's skip class."

"Baek I'm..." Chanyeol whispers then stops.

He knows that he would talk about his mother and their former conversation returns to his mind; the frustration and annoyance at his own weakness.

"Okay."

 

[]♤[]

 

"Tell me that this isn't nice." Baekhyun says.

He's sipping from a mug filled with hot chocolate, cross legged on a red rug in a tea shop.

"It is." Chanyeol says.

"If you have anything bad to say about our date..." he grumbles, rolling his eyes.

"Date?"

"Yes?!"

"Oh."

"What were you thinking?" Baekyun asks.

He bursts into laughter. His eyes turn into little crescents that watch him carefully until Chanyeol glances down. Baekhyun smells warm, sweet even, like burnt wood and Christmas cookies.

"Chan...yeollie?" he says, nudging him in the ribs. "Earth to you."

Chanyeol breathes in, hard, until it feels like his lungs are about to explode in his chest and says:

"Then are we..."

"I've said it's just a date. Don't look that much into everything." Baekhyun says.

He sips again from the cup, looking somewhere outside of the window.

"When you don't look that much into shit, you sulk."

"I don't."

"Right now. You are sulking." Baekhyun says. "Stop doing that."

"What?!" Chanyeol laughs, tries to, but it is dry and crumbly in his throat.

Baekhyun sighs and leans back on a pillow. His fingers are tapping on the mug and it's all silent, too much for Chanyeol's taste.

"How are the sales?" Baekhyun asks.

He doesn't look at him but at the liquid.

"Good. I gave some to..."

"Kyungsoo? Weird choice but whatever." Baekhyun says and yawns.

A long one, his mouth fully covered by one hand.

"He's nice." Chanyeol says.

He stops, before he says that Kyungsoo might even be nicer than him. Potentially not nicer, but kinder, more calm.

"If you say so. Have you played that guitar lately?"

"Not really." Chanyeol says.

He hasn't even slept that much at home to see it or touch it even.

"Pity. You looked hot with it." Baekhyun says. "Hotter than usual, anyways."

Chanyeol bursts into laughter, getting spit all over his fingers and mug as he cannot contain whatever feeling that is bubbling inside of him. He isn't sure about much lately anyways.

"You don't like it when I call you hot, huh?!" Baekhyun asks. "You are so annoying then." he says but smiles.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Not in public, dummy." Baekhyun grins.

 

[]♤[]

 

For months, there has never been an incident, not one that Chanyeol can recall, not even after Kyungsoo joined their business 2 weeks ago. It's been quieter and faster growing than he has expected as the number of clients increased. From 3-4 in the first week to almost 15.

But then, it simply happens at the snap of two fingers.

 

 

Chanyeol and Baekhyun are walking towards the house in ruin when they hear a siren growing in intensity. Loud, louder, getting closer to where they are.

Then it passes straight by them and stops right in front of the house. It is followed by another one and a third.

They suddenly stop, as Baekhyun grabs the other's wrist and squeezes hard until the skin turns white.

"We got to turn around and leave." he whispers.

The men get out of the cars, one by one and Chanyeol can clearly see the guns safely tucked at their belts. He gulps down and only now realizes that he is shaking.

"Stop being a wuss." Baekhyun whispers again. "Kiss me. Kiss me so it would look like we are two love birds." he continues.

But Chanyeol doesn't hear him, only the sirens that keep pounding into his ears and veins.

"Chanyeol." Baekhyun hisses and shakes his arm, hard until he almost falls on the ground.

Baekhyun rapidly takes hold of his face, pulling him down, at the same level with him and kisses hard. He closes his eyes, staying still as the other doesn't move, only pins him down like that until his back starts hurting and maybe he doesn't hear the sirens anymore. It’s just a buzzing now.

Chanyeol looks back and that's when he sees the men, the one who gave him first the brown paper bag. He is followed by 5 more, all with handcuffs.

"Is he going to..."

"Come on. Let's go. Let's go you idiot." Baekhyun whispers.

He locks their fingers and pulls him the other way, back to where they came from. They walk in silence for a while until they are far enough and Baekhyun let's go of his hand. Chanyeol feels the cold air linger around the palm where it's been all warm and safe.

"They probably don't know about us." Baekhyun says. "We must lay low for a while. Find another supplier."

"Maybe we should...just stop." Chanyeol whispers.

"What?"

"Stop...we've made some money...we-"

"I won't. If you want to be a fucking pussy, then be my guest." Baekhyun says. "We were a team, remember?!"

"You can't..."

"If you don't want anymore, then don't. It's up to you." Baekhyun says and starts walking faster, so fast that it leaves him behind.

No. Chanyeol has stopped, watching him disappear between people going the other way. He feels calmer now but not quite. The idea of losing Baekhyun so easily frightens him more than the one of being caught and thrown into a prison cell. Chanyeol starts running until he can see him again.

"Baekhyun!" he shouts. "We are in this together. Right?"

Baekhyun grins, wide and toothy, making his heart beat faster and faster. His Baekhyun. His own one, flesh and bones right in front of him, his to love and hate and do everything to.

“Right.”

 

[]♤[]

 

Chanyeol's heartbeat quickens as Baekhyun's hands roam over his body and stop right at his waistline.

"Don't look like that." Baekhyun laughs.

They travel even lower and Chanyeol sighs.

"How?"

"Like a little puppy."

Chanyeol trembles, closing his eyes. It all starts to get warmer even though each layer of clothing is being removed and when his hand falls down, there's warm, soft skin underneath it. His heart is about to burst with how fast is beating, not even daring to open his eyes again.

"Relax. You're squeezing your eyes so hard." Baekhyun says.

But Chanyeol keeps them closed. There's something warm hovering over his face, smelling sweet like bubble gum. It stops right on his cheek. The kiss is soft, traced all over his face in a certain pattern until he is intoxicated with the sweet smell of his breathe. Everywhere, making him open his eyes and see Baekhyun smiling at him.

"I'll do the work." he says and suddenly, the boy stands up, crawling away from him.

"Where are you going?" Chanyeol asks.

"To get a condom and some lube, dummy."

Chanyeol has never thought that Baekhyun would actually do this with him. Not with him, but he does.

"See. I'm back." Baekhyun says.

He's fully naked, skin glistening in the golden light.

"Do you want to prep me or should I do it?" he asks.

"Huh?"

"Prep me…"

He rolls his eyes and opens the bottle with a loud pop that makes Chanyeol shriek.

"Earth to you." Baekhyun says. "What are you thinking about?"

Chanyeol shrugs, sighing again.

"I'm listening."

"I'm fine. I can do it." he says and tries to grab the bottle but Baekhyun puts it out of his immediate reach. "Not until you tell me what's on your mind."

"Nothing."

"Chanyeol."

"You're ruining this."

"No, you are, with overthinking. I'm gonna tell ya what you are thinking about. The police, getting caught and shit. If you have any regrets or you don't want to do that with me anymore just say it for fuck's sake." Baekhyun says.

He's suddenly taking his shirt from the side of the bed and Chanyeol panics.

"I want to. Why are you so..."

"Mean? Horrible?" Baekhyun asks.

"I didn-"

"That's what you were thinking. If you don't like it...fuck off."

"Baek..."

"What?!"

Chanyeol sighs and falls on his back.

"I'm sorry." Baekhyun says, leaning down until their foreheads and bodies and everything touches and Chanyeol can feel his heart hitting his rib cage.

"I don't know what got to me...I'm sometimes like this...you know." he whispers. "Mean...and shitty with you."

"Baek..." Chanyeol says, brushing his fingers through the other's bangs, pushing them aside.

"You are so silly for putting up with me." Baekhyun laughs.

He kisses him on the lips, shortly before he smiles, closed mouthed and sweet. Baekhyun has too many smiles, Chanyeol thinks. One for each and every occasion. This one is new maybe, or maybe he hasn't seen it that much. It glints in his eyes as a playful light that returns right to the curve of his lips.

"Why are you like this?" he whispers, brushing away the hairs stuck to his forehead.

Chanyeol shrugs.

"You shouldn't be...this silly."

The last words are barely audible and Chanyeol doesn't want to hear them anyways as his skin feels like it was set on fire with every touch from Baekhyun. His Baekhyun.

"Don't...you like me this way?"

"Maybe..." Baekhyun breathes out as he closes his eyes. "Would you fuck me...please?"

"Won't I..."

"Please..." he whispers, moving on top of him until he stills for a couple of seconds.

Chanyeol feels the warmth traveling to the tips of his fingers. It is even better than he has ever imagined. Maybe only the fact that it is Baekhyun and nothing else even matters.

 

[]♤[]

 

"We lay low for a while. 2 weeks at least. Until everything calms down." Baekhyun says, glancing from one to another between eyelashes.

"Jongdae knows about-"

"Of course he knows." he says.

This time, he only looks at Kyungsoo who fidgets with his phone until it falls on the floor.

He picks it up, quickly as silence gets between them.

"Did you tell anyone else?" Baekhyun asks.

"No."

Kyungsoo shakes his head, looking at Chanyeol. As his hair brushes through the air, he can smell again the sweet scent of strawberries caught in his strands. His cheeks are pink, the colour spreading to his full, shiny lips.

"Good. Because otherwise you would be fucked. Get it?" Baekhyun says.

His fingers tighten around his belt and Chanyeol knows, he's certain that if he just pulled the hem of his shirt he would find the gun hidden there.

"I'll go now. The girls are waiting for me." Baekhyun winks and stands up. "I won't be at school today so don't even bother." he says.

Chanyeol sighs, feeling all the leftover joy get out of his body, quicker than it entered him.

"See ya!"

"I need a smoke." Chanyeol says, pushing the table aside.

The words get lost in a sigh as he takes the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket afterwards.

"Want one?"

Kyungsoo shakes his head.

"I should go outside."

"I'm coming with you."

Kyungsoo trails behind him, a couple of steps only, and when Chanyeol stops, he does too.

"Why do you need the money, anyways?" Chanyeol asks.

"For the same reason as you do." Kyungsoo says, looking down at his shoes.

"I don't. Not really."

"Why then?"

Chanyeol breathes out and thinks that he doesn't know. He has never cared enough about money as it has always seemed to be plenty of them. Then why?

"So...you don't know." Kyungsoo laughs. "I do."

"Tell me then."

"I can't."

The blush has spread across his entire face, even to the tips of his ears.

"Of course you can."

Kyungsoo shakes his head once more with a small smile on his face.

"You'd get mad at me if I say and I don't want that."

"I wouldn't."

He isn't sure after all.

"Yes, you would."

"You still didn't tell me why you do it." Chanyeol says.

"Money. What else?" Kyungsoo shrugs.

 

-to be continued-

 

 


	7. part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm not particularly happy with the way i wrote it. but i do like the general idea and the ending of this chapter, as well as baekhyun's character.  
> hope you'll enjoy:)

"You play the guitar, right?" Kyungsoo asks.

He is right behind a cloud of smoke that covers his entire face, leaving him look like a headless body.

"Sorry. I suppose you don't like the-"

"It's fine." he says but coughs, brushing away the remainders of that greyness.

"I do. But I'm not fantastic."

"I'm not a fantastic singer either." Kyungsoo says with a smile.

His eyes flicker like two honey globes in the yellow light of the morning. When the wind runs past them, the same sweet scent trails behind it, sticking to his clothes. Chanyeol breathes it in.

"You can sing?" he asks, his glance travelling down to the ground right when their gazes meet.

"A little."

"And I can play the guitar a little. We could make a good team."

"Maybe."

Kyungsoo smiles and the smile turns into a short laugh that travels to Chanyeol’s lips.

 

He doesn't know what made him do it, later on, when he is stepping into his room, followed by Kyungsoo. But the other seems to fit right in, sitting on his green armchair, looking amusingly small; surrounded by all his belongings, and playing from time to time with his iron-man figurine.

"Is that the guitar?" he asks, pointing towards a corner.

Chanyeol nods, taking it from the floor. On its strings there are a couple of spider webs. He brushes them away and sighs.

"What song can you sing on it?"

"Huh?"

"What song can-"

"Billionaire." he mutters, blushing to the tips of his ears; he doesn’t know why, but maybe even the prolonged gaze of the other makes him feel even more embarrassed.

"I like it." Kyungsoo smiles.

He puts the figurine back on the table and looks at it for a while longer.

"Yeah?!"

"Oui." he laughs and Chanyeol remembers that the last time he played his guitar was months ago on Baekhyun's front lawn. His Baekhyun. Or is that so?

Because his Baekhyun doesn't like labels, runs from them as much as Chanyeol would like to embrace one. The only one that matters, anyways.

"I think it's fitting." Kyungsoo says.

"Why?"

"You know...we sell...stuff." he whispers.

"Oh."

"Has Baekhyun found another supplier?"

Chanyeol shrugs. "Well...even if he had found one he didn't tell me about it..."

"Oh..."

"Baekhyun doesn't really let me into the administrative stuff..."

"It's fine." Kyungsoo whispers. "Should I start?"

"What?"

"Singing."

"Oh...sure, yeah-yeah."

 

[◇]

 

The fridge closes with a thud as Chanyeol balances a couple of plates and one bowl on his hands. This has become a routine. Theirs, anyways, as Baekhyun knows none of it. Or that’s what he hopes.

"Do you like tomatoes?" he yells.

"They're fine by me."

"I couldn't find that much eatable food...in the friiiii-"

One of the plates suddenly slips from his hand but Kyungsoo grabs it, in time for the sliced tomatoes not to fall on the carpet.

"-idge." he finishes.

"Looks great to me." Kyungsoo smiles. "But you didn't have to-"

"You must be hungry." Chanyeol says, sitting down. "I am, anyways." he laughs.

"Chanyeol..." Kyungsoo whispers.

"Huh?!"

He sometimes wonders how he let Kyungsoo enter his life so easily and remain stuck in it.

"I think that-"

"Chaaanyeol!"

The door suddenly opens, hitting the wall in its way, and Baekhyun steps inside the house. Milky beads of snow trail through his blonde hair, down to his black coat which makes his skin appear even paler. Only his cheeks are ruddy, just as his lips.

"And Kyungsoo." he mutters, kicking the door close. "What's up with him here?"

"Just hanging out." Chanyeol says.

"Just hanging out."

Baekhyun rolls his eyes, looking around until his gaze fixates on Kyungsoo.

"I...should go home." the boy whispers.

"Yeah...you should." Baekhyun says, crossing both arms over his chest.

"Baekhyun..."

"What?! If you want to keep hanging out with Kyungsoo here...just tell me and I'll leave."

"I'm going home." Kyungsoo says and stands up.

In his way, he bumps into the table, making it tremble with everything on it.

"Bye."

"Byeee..." Baekhyun says.

Chanyeol watches Kyungsoo put on his black jacket and shoes, all in utter silence as Baekhyun has already grabbed the plate with tomatoes on it. He picks one up, smells it and then slowly puts it in his mouth. The light red juice drips down on his fingers but Baekhyun licks it before it reaches his wrist.

"Bye..." Kyungsoo whispers once more.

Chanyeol waves at him, feeling his insides being churned by a sudden guilt. When the door closes there's even more of that silence to cover them both.

The plate is back on the table and as he looks up, Baekhyun is staring at him with a smile on his lips.

"That was shitty." Chanyeol says.

"What?"

"You know what."

"I'm not sure what you are talking about." Baekhyun whispers, shifting closer to Chanyeol until his head rests on his shoulder. His hair is cold, the dampness seeping right through his shirt, onto his skin. Chanyeol shivers, glancing down at his feet.

"I missed you." Baekhyun says into his ear.

He trails down his fingers over Chanyeol's arm, down to his waistline.

"You've seen me at school." he laughs.

Baekhyun unbuttons his pants, slowly, placing his hand inside.

"And..."

"And..." Chanyeol gulps down. "I thought that you were busy tonight."

"So that's why you've invited...Kyungsoo over. To keep you company."

He shakes his head.

"It wasn't like that."

"Wasn't it...?" Baekhyun whispers.

Chanyeol feels the warm breathe on his ear, warm and tingly, making his whole body feel like it was run by an electric current.

"Do you want to see me...jealous?" he asks.

Chanyeol shakes his head again, but no words escape his lips, only a sigh.

"Baby...we are a team, remember. You are all mine..."

 

[]◇[]

 

The second incident happens faster than expected. Right in the second week of their ‘laying low’ period, when Chanyeol's life seems to be abruptly turning back to its former normality.

He first hears the sirens. Closer and closer, the way they have been always appearing in his mind. The backpack suddenly feels heavier and his heart beats faster for some seconds. But the bag is empty. He cleaned it last week and hid the remains in a box underneath his bed.

The car stops and the doors open. Chanyeol wants to run but he cannot. He feels stuck to the sidewalk, watching the three men getting closer and closer.

All the seconds tick, tick, tick...tick and they walk so slowly, it takes them too much until they are next to him. The wind blows, scattering the smell of nicotine and coffee around. But they don't stop. No. They keep walking and then, Chanyeol sees Kyungsoo looking at him from the other side of the yard.

His head is covered by a beanie and the only thing that he can see are those big glasses. Kyungsoo walks towards him and the wind blows at him so hard that he can barely make a step. The muddy snow reaches his ankles. He stops right in front of him like those men should have.

"Are you okay?"

"Huh?"

"Chanyeol. You...you are alright." Kyungsoo says, touching his arm.

His fingers are covered by those gloves that are too scratchy and itchy and never fit well.

"They came here because they know." Chanyeol says.

Kyungsoo glances back and then straight at him.

"Calm down. You won't get to prison."

"But they've already caught our...supplier and-"

"Did you see that?" Baekhyun says, appearing right from behind Kyungsoo. "How the fuck would they think about this?"

"Maybe the supplier-"

"He had no fucking idea about our real names. Which means we have a mole." Baekhyun says, looking at Kyungsoo.

"How could we?"

"Easy." Baekhyun smirks. "Some people just can't help it, can they?"

"How are you so certain?" Kyungsoo suddenly asks. "It could totally be him. He is in the mafia. They know everything." he whispers, looking around.

But the yard is almost empty, too empty, as the trees look naked and the snow reflects some of the sickly light on their faces. Baekhyun lights a cigarette and sighs.

"If you say so." he huffs.

"We should head to classes." Kyungsoo says.

He only looks at Chanyeol who glances right at Baekhyun.

"I need to finish this."

"Chanyeol?"

"I'm-I'm staying with Baekhyun."

Kyungsoo sighs and Chanyeol can clearly see his own reflection in his glasses: smaller, thinner, transluscent.

The boy turns around and Chanyeol finally lets out a long breathe. Kyungsoo climbs the stairs and looks back. Then, he presses the door knob and disappears inside the building.

"He is the mole." Baekhyun says.

He throws the cigarette on the ground and crushes it with his foot.

"What?"

"He told the police. Not our names. Not yet. But he said everything about the suppliers because you are too stupid to keep your fucking mouth shut." Baekhyun mutters between gritted teeth.

His brows furrow above his eyes, almost meeting at the centre.

"What else did he ask you, huh? Come on…you can never keep "

"No-nothing." Chanyeol whispers.

And then, he suddenly remembers.

"Maybe just if you had found a different supplier but th-"

"Stupid. You-Chanyeol...God dammit. Why did you have to let him in?! Now we are about to serve some prison time because of your fucking stupidity."

"Baek..."

"You are going to pay for this."

"Baek...they are..." Chanyeol whispers.

The door opens and the same three men walk outside. This time, they stop right in front of them.

"Hasn't the bell rang already?" one of them asks.

"I didn't hear it." Baekhyun shrugs.

He smiles, covering the stump with his boot.

"Have you two heard about some kids that sell drugs in here? Maybe you bought from them?" the second one asks, looking only at Baekhyun.

"I didn't. Have you?"

Chanyeol shakes his head.

"But...why officer? Are there any?"

"Quite possible." the same man says. "I'm Officer Kim Junmyeon. If you happen to hear anything, do not hesitate to come by the police station."

"Of course, sir." Baekhyun smiles.

The officer smiles too and Chanyeol can't help the churn in his stomach or the bitterness in his chest, even stronger than his fear.

"Let's get to classes." Baekhyun says after the man have entered the car.

 

[]◇[]

 

Kyungsoo is right in front of him. Walking alone as the snow swirls around his head as a thin crown. Winter is leaning on his shoulders, breathing cold air on his cheeks.

"Kyun-"

"Keep quiet."

It's Baekhyun, placing a gloved hand over his mouth.

"We're about to see where he's going." he whispers.

Chanyeol follows Kyungsoo with his gaze, as he melts into the white of the street until the shape of his body can barely be discerned.

"Why?"

"He's our mole." Baekhyun says; he rolls his eyes and then suddenly looks at Chanyeol. "We must know what he's digging behind our backs."

Chanyeol shakes his head. "I don't believe this."

"Then don't come."

"Why don't we just ask him?"

Baekhyun bursts into laughter, smiling dryly at him until it dies on his lips.

"Of course. Why shouldn't we do that?! Do you want to go to jail?"

"No but-"

"Then follow me and keep your mouth shut." Baekhyun says.

It's cold outside, but underneath his coat, Chanyeol is getting warmer and warmer as they start walking. Baekhyun is leading the way, like the chief of a microscopic tribe, leading them into nowhere. The pace gets faster until his lungs start burning. He can't see anything. Only his boots, covered in snow.

They don't talk and each time he looks up, it feels like Baekhyun is further and further away. He has to quicken his steps but his feet drag behind him. There's no trace of Kyungsoo.

They finally stop, he doesn't know when or where, but the snow is no longer falling over his face.

"Shh..."

Baekhyun places a finger over his lips, glancing from time to time at a small, grey house from behind a tree.

"He got inside."

"This is stupid." Chanyeol says.

"If you have any better idea, then please...be my guest."

"Yes. Let's not sneak around. Kyungsoo is-"

"How is he, huh? How?"

Chanyeol shrugs, leaning down on the wet bark.

"I'm going to a shop to get some shit. Don't disappoint me." Baekhyun says.

Chanyeol nods and lights a cigarette. He hates how easily he has fallen into their trap, as even though his throat is sore and the coughing has gotten worse over the last months, they seem to be the only thing that manages to calm him down.

The waiting drags on, covered in silence as only some cars pass by. Everything else is still.

He's suddenly cold, shivering while the seconds turn into minutes and there's no trace of Baekhyun or Kyungsoo.

A car honks and Chanyeol hits his head on a branch.

Then, Baekhyun appears holding a brown paper bag in his arms, calm as ever.

"Saw the mole?"

"No."

"I hope you are not lying." Baekhyun says.

He throws the bag on the ground and sighs.

"Here's the plan: when he gets out of his hole we follow him quietly, we make sure nobody see us and then...we kidnap him."

"Are you insane?!"

"Maybe...we'll wear these."

Baekhyun crouches down and grabs two black scarfs and 2 pairs of sunglasses.

"Incognito. We just need to scare him a little and he'll vomit everything. He won't even know that it was us." Baekhyun says.

"You're out of your mind! What the heck do you think we are?!! This-" Chanyeol points at everything around-"is wrong. Wrong!!"

"Then go to hell!!" Baekhyun yells. "Go to hell and fucking die!!"

"Baek..." Chanyeol whispers.

He grabs his hand but the fingers slip from his grasp.

"Baek..." he says and this time, when he reaches for his hand, Baekhyun suddenly jumps at his chest, pressing his face into the coat.

"Baek..."

His body shudders, hard, for only a couple of seconds before it all stops. Baekhyun takes a step back and rubs his eyes.

"If you don't want to stay...just go. But now."

Chanyeol sighs and glances at the house. Then back at Baekhyun, his Baekhyun with bright red cheeks and bitten lips, looking small and fragile in his jacket. That's the first time that he noticed that the coat is too big for him, covering his fingers and going down, past his knees.

"You stay?"

And Chanyeol nods. He takes the scarf and the glasses and weights them at first. After a while, he puts them on.

That's when the door opens.

"Shhh..."

Kyungsoo steps out, dressed the same way as he was at school, and walks towards the small path near his house. They both wait behind the tree and Chanyeol looks from time to time at Baekhyun who chews on his bottom lip.

"When we won't see him...then we start." he says.

"Baek...what will we do?"

"Not much. Put the bag on his head...tie his hands. For the effect."

"I don't like this." Chanyeol whispers.

His heart is beating faster and faster as Kyungsoo is getting further away to a point where they can barely see him. The snow has started falling again.

Everything is quiet; no cars and ahead of them, a blank field unfolds, devoid of houses or trees.

"Come on." Baekhyun says.

Their boots leave tracks in the untouched layer, swirling around until they meet another pair, of smaller ones. The wind is brushing past them.

Chanyeol shivers, looking back at the street that has turned white. Somewhere, there's yellow lights hanging at a window, staring at him.

Something croaks above their heads but the snow is too thick to look up as it falls on the glasses.

"Have we lost him?" Baekhyun asks.

Chanyeol wants to turn around. At each step, he tells himself that he would but he doesn't. His feet work by themselves. When Kyungsoo's small shape reappears, his heart is beating right in his ears like a clock. Each beat, a second.

Baekhyun glances at him and Chanyeol wishes he could see his face clearer but the glasses turn everything grey. Something crinkles. It's the bag. There's also rope, he notices, thick and itchy.

Kyungsoo has stopped, right at the very edge of the hill from where the lights of the city look like bugs flying through the air. He looks too small again and Chanyeol would like to run to him and yell everything he knows at him. Ask all the questions that need to be answered.

Kyungsoo looks small even though they get closer and he thinks that he can smell a faint strawberry scent. Baekhyun pushes the rope into his hands and he takes it, feels its roughness against his skin.

He wishes that Kyungsoo would hear them and turn around.

But he doesn't.

In one single move, Baekhyun jumps towards him and puts the bag over his head. Chanyeol knows what he has to do but now his feet don't want to work anymore.

They are both fallen on the ground, squirming on the snow as Baekhyun is right on top of him, pushing his head into the yet to be touched snow.

It's so loud for a while and Chanyeol stands there watching, looking towards the street and hoping someone would come.

But there's none.

After a while, Kyungsoo stops moving. His legs and hands that have all been frantically hitting and kicking simply go limp.

Baekhyun stands up and kicks him in the ribs.

But it's all too quiet all of the sudden.

Chanyeol drops the rope and falls next to Kyungsoo. He turns him around as Baekhyun is watching him.

"Kyungsoo." Chanyeol whispers.

"Are you out of your mind?" Baekhyun hisses. "Put that back on!"

He steps towards Chanyeol but Chanyeol has already taken it off. His cheeks, his nose and lips are bloody, scratched and raw.

"Kyungsoo!!" Chanyeol yells. "Kyungsoo!!! Wake up! Wake up, Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo!! Please wake up!!" he continues, shaking the body that seems so light in his hands.

"Kyungsoo!!"

"Shut up. Shut up." Baekhyun says.

He's next to him, crouched down.

"He's fine."

"Kyungsoo..." Chanyeol whispers.

"Probably passed out."

"Kyungsoo, you got to wake up-wake u-"

"Shut up!" Baekhyun mutters. "Little winy moron. Shut your mouth until someone hears you crying like a bitch. He's not dead. He can't be dead."

Baekhyun pushes Chanyeol to the side, taking his place next to Kyungsoo. The scent of strawberries feels sickening all of the sudden, carried by the wind all around them. Emanated from every single pore, flying from the body as Baekhyun shakes it hard, harder.

But nothing happens. Kyungsoo is still, slowly being covered by the snow falling down. The red stains it, turning it light pink.

"He can’t be dead. No, he can't be dead, he can't be!!!" Baekhyun yells.

"I'm going to the police." Chanyeol mumbles.

"No!!!" Baekhyun shouts.

His fingers tremble as he pulls the coat up until he grabs the gun. It shakes in the air.

"If you go...I'm going to kill you too." Baekhyun says. "If you go...I'm going to..."

 

 

Chanyeol cannot remember how he got to the river side. He's cold and everything hurts and Baekhyun is next to him, pale and shivering.

The water looks muddy, reflecting the pale corpse of the moon that drowned in it. Floating into the waters, he sees it. The black coat soaked, getting away from them, barely visible after a while.

Then, he remembers everything.

Baekhyun touches his arm and looks at him.

“We won’t talk about this. Never.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is this baekhyun crazy? kind of. do i like it? i kind of do.  
> i do want him to be rather manipulative and sweet/nice whenever it suits him, especially in some of the scenes with chanyeol when he practically uses sex to have him at his little finger.   
> as for chanyeol, i think i made him be weak or at least easily influenced and manipulated by others aka baekhyun, and even though he realizes that some of the stuff he is doing is wrong, he still does it in order not to disappoint baekhyun; so maybe he's a people pleaser too idk.  
> also, kyungsoo's death is inspired by some real life events so...yeah that's that.   
> as a completion, kyungsoo died of a heart attack from the panic (maybe just from the fact that his face was pressed to the ground for some time too)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't actually believe that i finished this.   
> i wanted to give up on this almost every time but somehow i have managed to do it.   
> not sure if i like it or not. it turned much different than i initially envisioned it but nonetheless, i really like the character of baekhyun and maybe even of chanyeol. had a bit of fun there. 
> 
> hope you've enjoyed reading it. have a nice one!

The rain is fine, filtered by the foliage of the trees so that it falls in big, heavy drops that dig into the softened ground.

Jongdae is staring at him. At them. He feels the gaze on the back of his neck, hot and knowing.

All the snow has melted all of a sudden leaving everything naked. The waters have risen, bringing all sorts of things to the shore. Dead, decomposing things.

Baekhyun is next to him. The back of their hands touch from time to time, but then they quickly retreat and touch again. It's a childish game, with no winner.

Chanyeol glances back and Jongdae's eyes meet his. Next to him he sees Sehun, Jongin and so many of the people at school they sold their little packets to. But Jongdae is the only one who has noticed him, his slight eye twitch and shudder of the chest.

Next to Jongdae there should have been Kyungsoo, with his too big eyes, glasses, head. Looking absurdly small in his green chair, playing every time with his iron-man figurine.

He has thought about giving it to him, but he didn't. It's still on his desk, where he left it the last time.

Chanyeol looks straight ahead at the dark wood. The casket is open and if he made three more steps he would see Kyungsoo's body. Still. Pale and smelling like myrrh and incense.

He doesn't smell like strawberries anymore, nor will he ever.

His hand touches again Barkhyun's, but this time, they don't retreat. It's warm and real like the nicotine scent coming from him.

"Chanyeol..." he whispers.

His fingers slowly intertwine with his then stop. For a couple of seconds they remain still until Baekhyun squeezes his hand.

"Let's go." he says.

They turn around and Chanyeol sees Jongdae again. He's whispering something to Sehun, watching them from the corner of his eyes.

Does he know?

It's raining harder now.

He looks back at the casket that is being closed. At the men lowering it meters into the ground until you can't see it anymore, only the pile of ground towering over the edge; casting shadows on the wood.

A couple of kids found the body 5 days ago, brought to the shore when the snow that has suddenly started melting.

He's following Baekhyun who walks with heavy steps through the mud that it's beginning to form. It's quiet.

The earth falls with rhythmic thuds on the casket in sync with the rain.

"Chanyeol."

Baekhyun has stopped.

He lights a cigarette and sighs.

"This weather is shit."

"It's December..."

"In 3 days is Christmas." Baekhyun laughs. "And we are at a funeral."

"Baekhyun."

Chanyeol shivers as the water has started to seep into his coat. He hears footsteps.

"What?! It is what it is."

Jongdae stops next to Chanyeol, lightning a cigarette too.

"I wouldn't have showed my face here if I were you." he says. "But you have no shame, have you?"

Baekhyun blows out the smoke and crushes the stump with his foot.

"Why so? I came here to give my last goodbye like anybody else." Baekhyun says.

"Sure."

"Do you have anything else to say?"

"Not to you." Jongdae whispers.

It’s even quieter afterwards, with the three of them standing in a strange circle with jagged edges. Behind them, the ground keeps falling down.

 

[]♧[]

 

There is no third incident. Not that the business goes any further, stopping the moment the body was found cold and blue on the shore.

"Too dangerous." Baekhyun said one night even though Chanyeol liked to believe that Baekhyun was feeling remorseful. That starting doing it again would be too cold and inhumane.

There is no talking about the incident. Except for the funeral, Kyungsoo seems like he has never crossed their paths.

Three days later, on Christmas Eve, it's snowing again, harder than before.

Baekhyun is sitting on the mattress, weighting the gun in his hand, looking at it with a strange curiosity that’s glinting in his eyes. Chanyeol can never guess what goes through his mind but sometimes he thinks it is better. He doesn't want to know, anyways.

"You could have denounced me." he says after a while. "That's what a sane person would have done anyways."

"Maybe I'm not sane." Chanyeol says.

"I think that too. Why else would you still hang out with me? I'm a murderer."

"Baekhyun..."

"No. It's the truth. I am a murderer. Maybe not willingly but I am one."

"You didn't know that he would die just because-"

"That's how you lie to yourself to sleep better at night?" Baekhyun laughs. "It's a good idea though. A sad accident. But no police officer would believe it after they found out that I'm a drug dealer." he says.

"How do I know that you won't denounce me at some point?"

"Because I-"

"You love me?"

He laughs again, louder than the first time.

"I...have a gun." Baekhyun says and points it towards Chanyeol. "I could kill you too. Now that I've done it once...twice wouldn't be such a big shit."

"Baek..."

"I could. Pew." Baekhyun smiles. "Pew. Pew. Pew. My dad is not home. Maybe I could hide your body or..." he shrugs.

"Baekhyun." Chanyeol whispers.

"Why are you here with me? I killed someone."

"I love you." Chanyeol whispers.

Does he?

"I don't."

"Baek-"

"Baek, Baek, Baek. Can't you fucking say anything else?!" he yells. "I'm tired of your bullshit. You fucking whiny coward! You little cock sucking faggot!!" Baekhyun continues, dangling the gun in the air.

Chanyeol breathes out. His fist clenches as Baekhyun's grasp grows tighter on the gun. Then, Chanyeol sprints forward, hitting the other's wrist so that the gun falls down on the floor. He pushes it with his foot until it hits the wall.

Baekhyun remains still in front of him with his mouth slightly agape. His fist touches the softness of skin and then the hardness of bones as it clashes with his cheek.

He falls down, on his back, on the mattress. Without a sound. The snow is softly dangling at the window, looking at them.

"Fuck." Chanyeol mumbles.

His knuckles pound, hurt.

"Sorry." Baekhyun whispers, hiding his face in the white sheet.

"Fuck. Fuck you!"

 

[]♧[]

 

Jongdae is stirring once again in his instant coffee, watching the granules melt into the warm liquid.

"And you punched him? Just like that?"

Chanyeol nods.

The morning feels like it is poorly repeating an older one, missing only one variable that does not exist anymore. The door won't open again. Or maybe it will, but someone else will enter the room.

"Well...I suppose you've learnt your lesson." he says.

"What? Are you a wise man all of the sudden?" Chanyeol asks.

"I told the police. About the supplier." he says after a while when it almost feels like they’ll hear a knock and the spoon will fall on the tiles.

Jongdae holds the cup tighter.

"Not Kyungsoo. He had nothing to do with that."

Chanyeol looks somewhere else for a couple of seconds, counting them in his head.

"Won't you say anything?"

"Would you like me to punch you too?" Chanyeol says, clenching his fist.

He doesn’t feel much; not angry or upset, only defeated and tired.

"At least you would let out everything. Kyungsoo told me a thing or two abo-"

"Don't. I'll seriously fucking punch you and I don't want to." Chanyeol says. "So just don't. I don't want to know."

"I can go to the police. Tell them everything."

"You don't know what happened."

"No. I was just guessing at first. But you sold yourself. Baekhyun did it, didn't he?!"

"Fuck off."

"Why do you still protect him?!" Jongdae yells.

"If you hadn't talked...he would still be alive. At least Baekhyun is not a fucking hypocrite."

"He poisoned your mind!! Turned you into-into-"

"You helped Baekhyun just as much to kill him! You should have kept your mouth shut." Chanyeol says.

He stands up, pushing the table out of his way. The mug falls down, spilling the coffee all over the tiles. It shatters.

 

[]♧[]

 

He finds himself walking back to Baekhyun's house which has become in the few months of knowing him a replacement for his own. Between the quiet, cold walls smelling of nicotine he felt calm and different. Not the same Chanyeol, the old one, but a new one that he doesn't know whether or not to like. But there are more than one.

The angry one when his path crosses his mother’s, the cold and indifferent one whenever he would have seen Kyungsoo, a pliant one, with Baekhyun. He isn't sure who the real him is anymore. Maybe a combination of all these faces or just none.

He doesn't like any of them.

The door opens by itself and Baekhyun appears in front of him.

"You're here..." he whispers, rubbing one eye with a closed fist.

His body starts shaking, snow falling down on his thin arms, face, lips. It melts, dripping down on his shirt. The right cheek still holds the soft pink and green remains of Christmas Eve.

He doesn't know who he is now. There's the same Baekhyun in front of him, but Chanyeol isn't certain how he should react. What his natural impulse would be. But Baekhyun isn't shouting or threatening to kill him. He is small and harmless, drowning in clothes too big for him.

Nonetheless, at the bottom of his soul, right where the sternum connects all the vertebras, Chanyeol feels disgust and pity. For Baekhyun or just for himself, or for both of them.

"Won't you come in?" the other asks.

The voice seems smaller than before, barely audible. Maybe it is only in his mind.

He steps inside, almost registering for the first time the actual interior. Old furniture, smelling of mould and dust. Like Baekhyun. The floor is crumbly, coming apart under his shoes.

"You good?" Baekhyun asks.

"Yeah...yeah..." he whispers.

Inside it's warm, unbearably so, and he takes off his coat and scarf and beanie.

"Chanyeol...I'm-come on."

He knows the way already. The room at the end of the narrow hallway at the first floor. A white door leading to a white room with grey stained walls.

"I'm going to my mom in Canada." he says.

"What?!"

"If I go there...it won't be...I-you understand, right?"

Chanyeol sits down on the mattress and looks around. No, he doesn't understand.

The rational part in him does, but the rational part feels week.

"It won't seem that suspicious."

He keeps silent, waiting for Baekhyun to burst into laughter and brush it off. Somehow, he has never seemed to mean anything that he has ever said.

"Why are you so quiet?" Baekhyun asks.

Chanyeol shakes his head. The seconds passed and there’s no laughter.

"You are a fucking hypocrite, that's why? You say all that shit and-and now you just run away to your mother?!"

"I killed someone!" he mutters. "I-I can't stay here."

"Of course not. You dragged me in all of your bullshit and now all of a sudden you want to-to-"

"Stop it!" Baekhyun says. "I'm leaving...whether or not you like it. I didn't even have to tell you. I didn't. But I did because I actually thought that you would understand...out of everybody. Because you..."

"Yeah. Why would you?! I'm a faggot...right?"

"Chanyeol...that was-"

"You made it pretty clear that you are not...gay. Or anything." Chanyeol huffs. "That 'us' was only one of your little games."

"Chanyeol."

"Fuck off."

"I was angry and scared and panicked and-"

"Fuck off!"

"No! Don't make my departure so...horrible. You're the only one I've told this to. Chanyeol!" Baekhyun shouts but Chanyeol shuts the door close and runs down the stairs and then into the hallway.

He realizes too late that his coat is still inside and outside he's freezing. The door opens and there's Baekhyun standing right there, holding his clothes, looking even smaller, with red cheeks and glassy eyes.

He takes them but doesn't say a word, not even when their fingers touch and then let go.

The street is empty. Lonely. After a while, he looks back and he thinks Baekhyun is still standing in the doorframe. But the image is blurry.

Too blurry.

 

[2 years later]

 

Suddenly, it smells of strawberries. Strongly. He is invaded by the scent, by also mould and nicotine.

There's sirens closer and closer to him until they are too much to bear. He tries to cover his ears but he cannot. Instead, he closes his eyes.

It feels better, safer.

But it still smells of strawberries and mould and nicotine.

 

[the end]

**Author's Note:**

> comments are well loved:)


End file.
